When one sits down on the toilet to find there is no toilet paper in the bathroom after taking a crap. He or she will then continue to waddle to the nearest bathroom, sit down on the new toilet, and wipe.
Johnny had an emergency, and rushed to the bathroom as quickly as possible. After doing his business, there was no toilet paper, so he tried toilet hopping to the upstairs bathroom.
by Chrispycreme September 8, 2012
Get the Toilet Hopping mug."Toilet Twerking" is a often necessary body movement that consists of violently shaking your ass in all directions while still sitting on or slightly above the toilet seat. "Toilet Twerking" is mostly used for getting that last dingleberry thats stuck hanging from your asshole free, so you can wipe more productively.
by Devonb456 August 20, 2014
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The shittiest people, whom are fucking dumb and stupid, are black or jew, are gay or lesbian, a feminist, are junks, are ugly and simps,...
by Nick Erfag Otte April 6, 2020
Get the Toilet Niggers mug.The simplest squat toilet is simply a hole in the ground or floor. Some squat toilets are more elaborate, but they all require the user to squat over a hole and to defecate into the hole.
Squatting is the normal position for defecation, because the lower part of the colon is well positioned for easy bowel motions. In contrast, western-style toilets may be more convenient than squat toilets, but they don't position the user as well for defecation.
Some doctors recommend that people who are constipated should put their feet on a pile of books or a small stool when using the toilet, as this forces the body into a type of squatting position.
Squatting is the normal position for defecation, because the lower part of the colon is well positioned for easy bowel motions. In contrast, western-style toilets may be more convenient than squat toilets, but they don't position the user as well for defecation.
Some doctors recommend that people who are constipated should put their feet on a pile of books or a small stool when using the toilet, as this forces the body into a type of squatting position.
When Sally went camping in the bush, she made a squat toilet by digging a hole in the ground. She squatted over the hole and defecated into it.
by Boris2 February 22, 2009
Get the squat toilet mug.A fallback plan for running out of toilet paper, which involves taking an unscheduled shower to prevent dingleberries or racing tracks.
by RootsofWar November 18, 2011
Get the Plan B Toilet Paper mug.1.Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Yuck, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh Fooey! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
Cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
Erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Daren’t, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I going to do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
"Born Free".
(WARNING: Use these Toilet Jokes at own risk.)
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Yuck, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh Fooey! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
Cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
Erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Daren’t, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I going to do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
"Born Free".
(WARNING: Use these Toilet Jokes at own risk.)
by Bonus_Satis April 21, 2008
Get the Toilet Jokes mug.1. A soft paper-like product that you use to clean your anus after you poop.
2. A product that flys nicely over nieghbors trees.
2. A product that flys nicely over nieghbors trees.
I just wiped my ass with some toilet paper.
Damn, That was a good throw, man I think the toilet paper hit every branch on the way down that tree!
Damn, That was a good throw, man I think the toilet paper hit every branch on the way down that tree!
by Stevereno January 15, 2007
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