False Junkie

Someone who talks about using drugs, but has never actually used any.
Example: People who say 'I'm a crackhead', but show no symptoms of being on crack are false junkies.

Jerry: I'M A CRACKHEAD!!
Tom: You haven't used any before you false junkie.

by MISTER S.P.E.C.I.A.L. April 20, 2020

False Profits

To Benefit off something fake/fictional or To accuse someone of not speaking truthfully.

Definition 1: "batman and spider-man are both great false profits."

Definition 2: "I'm tired of you and your false profits, just tell me the truth."

by SonHunter May 28, 2018

Davidoff False Cobra

When a male snakes his mates because he's a paigon. He invites his bird to drinks before a party in which he was usually meant to attend with his closest mates. He is a snake. cunt.

Dave: Im taking amy for drinks before the party

Boys: cunt you snake

Dave: don't worry ill be there at 10

Boys: but you're a cunt

*dave still is not there at 11pm*

Boys: dave is a snake and a cunt

Dave: i was ill

Boys: cunt

Amy: i have hand cramp from tossing dave off so much

Dave: i am such a davidoff false cobra I'm such a smokey wanker

by iamasnake January 25, 2014

False Gay

When a male dates a transgender female, he is known to the public as gay, yet what he is hittin' has a coochie. this makes him straight.

"I've been dating this guy for 8 weeks now, I guess I'm pretty gay!"
"Nah you false gay because the dude you lovin' on has a vagina!"

by BLACK_AS_BLACK_CAN_BE August 21, 2021

False shark

One way you know people that say that they are sharks are not sharks is sharks don't try to run off other animals. Sharks can also swim without the use of tanks and scuba diving apparatus, that's another way you know that people aren't like sharks, even if they claim to be.

He/she must have been in a silly mood when he/she claimed to be a shark, but nobody thought he/she wasn't a false shark when he/she made the claim.

by Solid Mantis December 11, 2019

False Dichotomy

It isn't a choice between trying to prove that people can overcome obstacles and blaming or complaining. That's some solipsistic bullshit you made up to absolve your self from guilt because you are probably directly responsible for something that resulted in a negative outcome. "It'S nOt Me! It'S sTrUcTuRe oF rEaLiTy!" So, you make up this imaginary rule that doesn't actually exist as a form of cosmic scapegoat. My contributions are being diminished or omitted entirely. If you're doing it to me than you're doing it to other people. It fully justifies raping and murdering your kids. You can kill all of the rapists and pedophiles you want, it isn't going to un-rape or unkill those kids. And then you can give THAT SPEECH... To THAT molested person. And it will do just as much as for them as it does to explain how reality works. NOTHING. Imaginary bullshit to preserve your solipsistic sphere. And it won't matter how successful they are. Look at the guy from Lincoln Park. Look at Kurt Cobain. It doesn't matter how successful people are. You are either ameliorating suffering or you are exacerbating suffering. You don't get to pick and choose... Because I can always just defer mine to someone else.

That's ACTUALLY all sucess IS! Deferring suffering! THAT ALL IT IS! THAT'S WHY PEOPLE HATE YOU! It isn't 'JeAlOuSy' they aren't mad that you're just so cool and special too much better than everyone. You're using other people to elevate yourself. Taking full credit. And then defering all of your suffering of onto the rest of the world. Because the system isn't designed for everyone to succeed. It's designed for you to be the special better than everyone guy. And everyone else to be fine.

Hym "That's a false dichotomy Chris... Because you can always just stab a kid" 🤷

by Hym Iam January 2, 2024

False Happiness

…………..real suffering is not known

I can kill all the false happiness I can make you all just as miserable AS YOU CAN BE HOHOHOHO!

by Cenafan February 16, 2023