closet raiders fan

A fan who is to ashamed to be associated with the raiders. If he is found out, he will usually point to the five super bowls that they won over 50 years ago.

guy 1: dude you're a raiders fan?

guy 2: yah i didn't want 2 admit it cause i thought i would be mocked i was a closet raiders fan

guy 1: dude raiders suck

guy 2: no dummy we won five super bowls over 50 years ago that must make us good

guy 1: (sigh)

by thevoiceoftruth October 3, 2013

Closet Overachiever

A co-worker that lures you in to thinking that mediocrity is commonplace at the office. Just when you think you are both on the same page he or she will make look bad by putting together elite spreadsheets, cutting edge PowerPoints, and insightful talking points at meetings.

John: Where is Lindsay? She normally takes a 2 hour lunch with us?

Jim: Oh you didn't know? Turns out she is a closet overachiever.

by TR DUDE November 21, 2013

Closet dick

A male who appears to be friendly but turns out to be a massive asshole when you really get to know him

I thought he was a really nice guy, but he's secretly a massive closet dick.

by fooddetector December 14, 2014

closet straight

A male who acts and talk as if they are flamboyantly gay but, not.

Hey bro, I don't go down like that. I go down like this. Come on man, don't you have a wife and kids? Yes, it's not like I'm gay, I'm just closet straight.

by Chef boy ar Gee December 31, 2014

closet sociopath

Someone who seems really chill and relaxed but periodically suggests something very dark or unnerving.

"Jill seems like a real closet sociopath. Every time we play D&D she suggests torture."

by GlueBank February 28, 2017

piss closet

A bathroom

Watch my beer for me, I gotta run to the piss closet.

by dick fitzentite December 9, 2009

monkey closet

don’t open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood

person 1: “dont open my monkey closet”
person 2: *does*
there is blood

by aceofspad3s December 31, 2021