Spend $12,000 on Flex Tape and condoms

It just works

I’m probably not even gonna have a husband so I can Spend $12,000 on Flex Tape and condoms and nobody will be able to yell at me for it

by Miff_ June 7, 2018

condom machine

A thing that is in every truck stop bathroom. Allows the trucker to get a rubber, so he can fuck one of those skanky hookers that hang around truck stops, without the embarrasment of going up to the cashier. Also commonly used by 16 year old boys. The condoms usually cost 75 cents.

Trucker: (Just got done shitting) Looks up at condom machine above the toilet. "Hmm, there done be a lot of skanks hangin out in the parkin lot. Better grab a rubber."

by JJ Hard-on September 7, 2007

Condom titties

Noun; Natural breasts with more skin that fat, as to seem like condoms filled with cottage cheese.

Brittany: (with her breasts exposed) ...but Frey'yud, why shood I git inplants?

Thomas: Be'cause your tiddies look like cottage cheese in two condoms - one made for blacks and one made for Asians.

Brittany: Thomas!

Thomas: Condom titties Con... Cond... (vomits to the side)

by An Honest Mormon February 26, 2009

Styles Condoms

The best condoms on earth. Harry Styles uses them himself. You can buy them in every colour, every size and every flavour. The favorites are the ones with carrot flavour.

Zayn: Hey Hazza, what did you do last night?
Harry: Did The Harry Styles with Louis. We used Styles condoms!
Louis: Hell yeah it was amazing.
Zayn: Woah I want too!

by FuckYeahStylesCondoms March 26, 2011

condomize

Verb: to apply a condom. A neo-sexy Safe Sex word.

"They love it when you condomize them with your mouth."

"Hold on, let me condomize ya."

by Tragic Rabbit June 19, 2006

Bed Condom

The stretchy sheet you put on the mattress of a bed before putting the actual sheets and blankets on it.

Hey, don't lay directly on the mattress, put a bed condom down on it first.

by RCL93 April 19, 2010

and then the condom broke

When you see a person walking towards you and you are having a conversation, you say "and then the condom broke" right when the person gets in hearing range to freak them out.

*Rachel walks towards Vince and Nicole*
Nicole: ...and then the condom broke.
Rachel: WHAT?!!?

by vinnnifer May 19, 2010