Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.

Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.

by Sassenach March 14, 2025

pistol douche

One whom exclusively uses the pistol in a shooter game, especially by just using it to pistol whip. Usually frowned upon by all other players, especially in the XBOX 360 game Gears of War.

In a Gears of War Match:

"That guy's being a pistol douche. He never uses any other weapon!"

by bigmax June 17, 2007

Douche'

dou·ché
do͞oˈSHā/
exclamation: douché

(in fencing) used as an acknowledgment of a hit to one's opponent, who happens to be a douche.
used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one's expense (who happens to be a douche) by another person.

Walking to my car after work this evening. A group of 4 young dudes walks up to the crosswalk the same time I do. As we wait I hear them chatting among themselves. One turns to me and says "nice hair. Did ur mom fuck a smurf?". To which his buddies laugh. Without missing a beat I look at him, smile, and say "nice face. Did ur mom fuck a horse?" His buddies literally double over howling with laughter. "Douche'!!"

by ForgingGraphemes September 9, 2016

Douche Water

When you are even worse than a Douche Bag. You ARE the Douche Water. It's one thing to be the bag that flushes the bad stuff out of the vagina, it's another to be the nasty water that comes out of it.

You are such an asshole that I can't even call you a Douche Bag. You are the Douche Water dude.

by veggiegator August 1, 2013

transitional douche

A man that easily flows from one woman to the other without hesitation

Greg and Trevor are just transitional douche with no conscience

by Gfndog May 7, 2015

Douche

Emma's boyfriend

Emma's boyfriend is a cracked up douche

by That_One_Bookworm February 8, 2020

Douche monkey

Douche monkey means: Someone being rude also acting very ignorant and saying or doing something uncalled for. (2) An insult or joke to use for someone you do not like or are friends with

(1)
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."

(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."

by Dalyena October 26, 2015