Miserable Coffee

A cup of coffee, usually Maxwell House, that is drunk in a miserable; sad and depressing, cold situation, to either make the situation either less or even more miserable.

Ugh, what a morning, I'm gonna go get another cup of miserable coffee.

by T405ED March 9, 2009

Coffee dancing

Prerequisite: The state of having drunk a few cups of coffee and sitting still reading or infront of the computer.

This will result in fervent foot-based dancing because of a lacking of calmness. E. G. while waiting for the microwave.

I cant wait two minutes, aaaaargh!

...........
-Please Stop coffee dancing, it is weird.
- I dont care mofo I just need to fix so much fun stuff today!

-eh, okay.

...........
-Oh, youre coffe walking have notched up one level.

by Maggi Coffe-Lover March 6, 2013

coffee worshipper

A person who buys a takeaway coffee from places like Starbucks, Costa, Cafe Nero, etc and walks along the road holding it in front of them as if it's an urn containing sacred ashes.

That coffee worshipper over there looks like a complete twat

by blofled1965 March 19, 2013

Nuclear Coffee

Another term for leftover coffee - especially really good coffee. When you have too much cold coffee to dump out before starting another pot so you nuke it a cup at a time in the microwave. This is different than re-warming a cup you allowed to get cold. Incentives are high if you buy really good coffee and happens most frequently in the morning or late afternoon.

"Okay, there's plenty of nuclear coffee in the pot. It's good stuff and you can microwave it, so don't dump it out and make a new pot. I don't give a rat's ass if you're a coffee snob. it's to good and I paid to much for it to dump out."

by Da Chetster March 25, 2013

range coffee

Range Coffee is like College Coffee, but without the cocaine.

I had some of your range coffee last night and everybody at work is staring at me right now.

by lastname first July 5, 2014

Coffee Vulture

A person who knows the sound of a coffee maker quite well, though never brews a pot. As soon as a coffee vulture hears the sweet sound of morning ecstasy brewing they immediately drop whatever unimportant task is being poorly done to find the source. Once located, a coffee vulture will then spectate, possibly drooling down its shirt. Whilst waiting awkwardly in a doorway or some other location that obstructs the flow of traffic, a vulture never lets its beady eyes leave the objective. Silently waiting either because watching is as much as its little brain can handle or because it has been labeled a fucking idiot and no one fucking gives a shit what this piece of shit has to say anyways. Upon the coffee maker's completion of its task the vulture waddles over and pours a cup before anyone else. The vulture is first not due to speed, but rather the overall repugnant nature of such a 'person', once the vulture's destination is known that area is then vacated and avoided until it has left. Upon filling its cup the vulture then returns to whatever meaningless task it was doing, periodically returning for more coffee until dry. After which this piece of shit might say, "Looks like we're out of coffee." in hopes that someone more useful than they may make another pot it can wait on.

"Is the coffee done yet?"
"No, the coffee vulture is still in there."
"Damn, I guess I'll just wait."

by Sexy Al Capone August 19, 2014

coffee paradox

When even the simplest task is impossible to perform before drinking coffee.
From Socrates theory that sometimes making coffee is too complex to tackle before drinking coffee.

That giant mess on the counter occurred because of coffee paradox. I put the grounds in, I put the water in, and I turned it on. But I forgot to put the pot under that water drippy thingy so now I'm sucking the coffee out of this towel until I get enough coffee in me to do it correctly.

by barkinspider December 6, 2013