Church Bell

When you take a shit that is so long that as it falls from your ass, it leans forward and bumps into the back side of your balls like clanging a bell.

"I should have pinched that deuce off sooner and it wouldn't have gone church bell on me."

by jackwagon99 January 28, 2018

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Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.

Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.

by screaminghallelujah6 December 12, 2011

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Church Coffee

Horrible coffee made exclusively by churches. It is always way too weak and tastes odd. They just can't get it right!

guy 1: Hey, how's the coffee?
guy 2: Horrible, it tastes like Church Coffee.
guy 1: Gross. Lets get a Monster instead.

by palindrome216 July 6, 2011

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church crazy

When a parent who is usually a normal person turns into a raging angry demon on Sundays. This usually occurs because they care deeply about their image and want their families to appear perfect to other churchgoers.

Damn, mom is screaming at John for forgetting to iron his shirt for church! Looks like she's gone church crazy.

by PlasticCup December 5, 2022

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