A woody towel is the bar rag male bartenders tuck in the front of the britches supposedly for wiping off their hands. In reality it is to cover their "wood" as in "I would love to..." when face to face with a hottie or face to flesh with a pair of mounds more than a mouthful. It conveniently covers the bulge, re-adjustment, as well as subtle massage in an inconspicious manner under the guise of wiping one's hands.
With the nipples pressing to escape the fabric in front of the bartender's eyes, the bar rag in the back pocket was subtley switched to the front, thus becoming a woody towel.
by BigRedBeast May 13, 2011

by Beaks86 February 26, 2017

1. An erect penis
2. Slang for the city of Woodstock
3. A creepy, pedophilic, homosexual cowboy, typically found in children's bedrooms
2. Slang for the city of Woodstock
3. A creepy, pedophilic, homosexual cowboy, typically found in children's bedrooms
by TheAnonomousUser May 23, 2024

when you pull down a guys pants and his dick look so beat up that it appears that he masturbated his penis in and out of a tiny wooden squirrel hole while simultaneously being bitten by the squirrels that reside
by mountaingoat247 December 14, 2021
