fandom wank

Both a noun and a verb.

1. Fannish absurdity, self importance, gratuitious grandiosity. Named for the community on journalfen.net.

2. to be the object of said community

1. Few friendships survive a good fandom wank.

2. After Mary Sue threatened to leave the Harry Potter fandom because her opus "When Harry met Mary" was laughed at, she was fandom wanked.

by minion of the Hive Vagina March 16, 2004

cheese wank

A term used to describe someone that not only is a wanker, but also a cheesy wanker. It does not mean that that person wanks off nor wanks off to cheese or with cheese. It just means that that person is a loser, douche bag, hated, etc.

Al: You know Bob from accounting? The one that kisses so much ass? He got promoted.

Jack: What?! What a fucking cheese wank. That makes me wanna T-bag him.

by Fonetix1 December 9, 2008

Wank Account

The ammount of semen held in reserve in one's testicles at any given point in time.

"I'm sorry sir. You are only allowed to make six withdrawals from your account per day"

by Vince Mincer June 15, 2005

Quantum Wank

n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."

I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!

by Lucky Bastard MK1 May 5, 2010

King Wank

After a few days/weeks or sometimes months of being unable to find yourself in a situation where you can masterbate, It will be paramount for your health and well-being to have a king wank or as some say, a King Wankathon. A king wank consists of multiple back to back wanks (sometimes hitting double figures). After you’ve completed this task you will need an armchair to sit and to rest your arms like a king would on his thrown. As a bonus while performing the act you get a ‘no one can touch me right now’ kind of feel whilst the dopamine courses through your veins.

Where’s Tom? Oh that’s right he was staying at his parents house for the last few days, he must have had a king wank when he got home, he’d be fast asleep, ‘All hail king Tom’.

by King wank July 31, 2019

Wank Camel

When you go a long time without having a flog just like a camel would go without water.

Person 1: "I haven't masturbated in ages."

Person 2: "Whoa dude, you're such a Wank Camel."

by TeddyBazz December 9, 2015

noble wank

To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.

Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?

son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.

Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.

son: thank you father.

by Dasten June 2, 2014