Fat Wanker

1. An insult.

2. A description of someone who is both fat *and* and a wanker.

3. A very annoying fat boss.

My boss is a big fat wanker

by Blubber Hater December 1, 2003

wankers remorse

occurs after one has beaten off or 'masturbated'. Its the feeling of strong regret and longing to take back what you have just done. You feel dirty and cheap, also sort of like an animal.feeling is stronger after every wank that day, your body resets after midnight. It soon passes and you return to your normal sex hungary self. It plays no part in deciding wheather to wank or not as this horrible feeling is no match for cumming.

*At Toms house. Tom leaves the room for 1-2 minutes*

tom: you alright daz?
dario: *weeping* no of course not, why do i do it? i feel so dirty!
tom: what? why?
dario: im no better than an animal!
tom: huh, i don't get-- what the fuck is that on my carpet?
dario: sorry mate wankers remorse
tom: its on the fucking t.v as well, you prick
dario: im so sorry
tom: *looking pissed* its fair enough. i once phoned samaritans after a double holiday handshake

by dazzz December 20, 2006

bunch of wankers

1) A derogatory term for a group of people.
2) A group of masturbators.

"Cardio obviously got too carried away with his definition of bunch of wankers."

by Soiled Undergarment August 19, 2003

cyber wanker

someone who loves to have sex on cam on the internet

Jeremy is a cyber wanker, he cant keep it in his pants, when his cam is on

by Brian Peterman July 10, 2003

Wanker's Cramp

Noun

A painful stiffening of the muscles of the hand, characteristically caused by excessive amounts of masturbation.

Wanker's Cramp is likely the most pathetic accidental self-inflicted injury of all time, being just slightly above paper cuts from toilet paper, balsa wood splinters, and pressing the button on Bop It too vigorously.

Jim hasn't left the house for almost 5 days. It's only a manner of time before he gets Wanker's Cramp.

by IQuarent July 22, 2014

Sweaty Wanker

The act of wanking to the beat of rap god and snorting cocaine off your step-Gammy’s sweaty ass crack

Damn bro I heard you were at your Gam Gam’s house doing a sweaty wanker.

by DirtyGoblinReceiver69 December 14, 2019

Phone Wanker

Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.

I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!

by JayWon April 21, 2017