A mythical three headed beast that exists within a workplace (usually an office) whose sole purpose for being is to verbally abuse and harass their manager, who try as he / she might, can never seem to do enough to stop them from breaking his spirit, day after day after (long and weary) day
On their own, any one of the three parts of a douche nozzle maketh an easily defeatable foe, but when combined (like Voltron), they form a truly unstoppable workplace bully
by Sergeant Boulder August 22, 2011

by LeanSay August 10, 2009

by Centralmecub January 24, 2015

A dual purpose object that can be used to clean an orifice such as the vagina or the anus but also contains a scroll of religious doctrine revealing secrets of sexual ritual from ancient times. Only the Kardashians know the truth
Kim Kardashian took her douche cartouche and used it to practice her religious rituals while cleansing her orifices so she could have more sex to release her next movie
by Louis Ciphre September 16, 2022

An idiot who thinks Metallica is the best metal band ever, who's politics change like a babies underwear and purchases metal paraphernalia to justify his existence.
What a douche metal dork, everything is metal or nothing. Secretly rubs his Hulk Hogan WWF action figure inappropriately on very appropriate areas.
by Powdered Douche Nut July 9, 2025

1. The act of automatically assuming that a person is an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag, just because he's a white American Male. Closely associated with reverse-racism and general xenophobia, but is most often perpetuated by over-politically-correct "open-minded" white hipster girls with no marketable skills but a shitload of opinions from their community college elective courses.
2. The act of twisting or otherwise misconstruing a white American male's words to comfortably pigeonhole him into a preconceived douchebag mold.
2. The act of twisting or otherwise misconstruing a white American male's words to comfortably pigeonhole him into a preconceived douchebag mold.
1. A white amercian male, Upon approaching a group of average african-americans at the bar, "Hey gentleman, how are we tonight?"
Followed by the ubiquitous "MmmHmm" and other familiar dismissals.
"Ohhhhh....I get it, cause I'm white you assume I'm an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag racist. That's kind of racist in itself, don't you think? you do know I went to public schools right? Don't douche-lump me."
2. A white american male, upon approaching a group of hipster girls "Hello, you girls are looking very nice tonight, how are things going?" or something to that effect.
Responded to with "eww no thanks, bruh, take your chauvinist misogynistic racist homophobic right wing conservative pro-life thirsty ass elsewhere, we don't live to have our looks judged by your prototypical male standards, blah blah blah."
"Whoa Whoa Whoa...okay, okay, I get it...cause I don't wear skinny jeans, have gauged ears and a man-bun i must be a douche. How about you worthless dumb american girls who couldn't cook an egg start thinking for yourselves and actually contribute to society instead of working at a super-cool piercing salon and regurgitating mindless activist crap you read on your favorite blog this morning? Quit douche-lumping me."
3. White american male "That bartender cut me off, how gay is that?."
White hipster girl "oh my god you said gay, blah blah" sneers and ugly looks.
"Yeah yeah, it's 2015, not 1995, I know. Shut the fuck up, quit douche-lumping me."
Followed by the ubiquitous "MmmHmm" and other familiar dismissals.
"Ohhhhh....I get it, cause I'm white you assume I'm an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag racist. That's kind of racist in itself, don't you think? you do know I went to public schools right? Don't douche-lump me."
2. A white american male, upon approaching a group of hipster girls "Hello, you girls are looking very nice tonight, how are things going?" or something to that effect.
Responded to with "eww no thanks, bruh, take your chauvinist misogynistic racist homophobic right wing conservative pro-life thirsty ass elsewhere, we don't live to have our looks judged by your prototypical male standards, blah blah blah."
"Whoa Whoa Whoa...okay, okay, I get it...cause I don't wear skinny jeans, have gauged ears and a man-bun i must be a douche. How about you worthless dumb american girls who couldn't cook an egg start thinking for yourselves and actually contribute to society instead of working at a super-cool piercing salon and regurgitating mindless activist crap you read on your favorite blog this morning? Quit douche-lumping me."
3. White american male "That bartender cut me off, how gay is that?."
White hipster girl "oh my god you said gay, blah blah" sneers and ugly looks.
"Yeah yeah, it's 2015, not 1995, I know. Shut the fuck up, quit douche-lumping me."
by HeyitsGinoB69 October 28, 2015

A punchy douche is a cowboy who’s good at what he does, dresses like a damn tool usually the top 3 buttons are unbuttoned on his pearl snap, jeans about 2 sized 2 small, cross necklace common but not required, personally is about that of a 2x4.
by Kevbo November 30, 2020
