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Marty Massage

A circuit training program which combines exercise with massage. This was created by Major Martha Halftrack, US Army (Ret.). Usually done in the mornings before her husband, Amos, gets up. It is very comforting. So, if you want comfort without a barrage, go to Camp Swampy and get a Marty Massage.
Marty: Hey Bryant, you look tired, honey. What can I do to wake you up? (Suddenly snaps her hand) I know, how about a Marty Massage? You love those!

Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)

Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.

Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?

Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!

Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!

Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.

Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.

Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 1, 2011
mugGet the Marty Massagemug.

Finger Knuckle Massager

A cover up word for a jerking off machine for the lonely motherfuckers who cannot get bitches
Hey bro you want a finger knuckle massager. It relieves your pain super fucking fast.
by thegchad May 18, 2024
mugGet the Finger Knuckle Massagermug.

Roughrider Massage

When you get a back rub while you pinch a loaf.
One friend: “My back always hurts when I pinch a loaf.”

Other friend: “I’ll give you a Roughrider Massage.”
by Mr. Goonch6969 November 16, 2020
mugGet the Roughrider Massagemug.

Kiss Massage

Kneading of the full body with kisses
by Strayjack1 December 12, 2023
mugGet the Kiss Massagemug.

June 26th national give your girlfriend a massage

June 26th is national give your girlfriend a massage.
Me- Did you heart today is June 26th national give your girlfriend a massage?

fred- No fr?

Me- Yeahhh i better get home to give my girl a massage haha

fred- Me too bro
by renegaderadar June 26, 2020
mugGet the June 26th national give your girlfriend a massagemug.

nibble massage

A massage performed with the mouth, all over the body. The nibble massage can be performed to varying degrees of biting based on preferences. Other techniques may also include kissing, licking and sucking especially in the erogenous zones.
My massage unicorn came over last night and, after a full-body rub down, gave me an incredible nibble massage. My massage unicorn is also my oral unicorn so you know I had a very happy ending :)
by Zen Unicorn May 31, 2016
mugGet the nibble massagemug.

Taco Massage

A sensor friendly way for a one nite stand or hookup.
I don't want anything serious, I just want a taco massage.
by AzuraGreen December 18, 2017
mugGet the Taco Massagemug.

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