by Arielle Brittani December 3, 2005
Get the Von Douchebag mug.An ancient American rite of passage for the young male brosef trying to prove himself on the modern battlefield (read: bars and clubs). Counting douche has a long and rich history in the club scene and can be easily observed on any night where classes get out early.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.
The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'
North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
Example 1.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.
Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
by Butterknife April 6, 2009
Get the counting douche mug.Related Words
Dyouche
• douchebag
• douche
• douche baggery
• Douche Fag
• Douche Nugget
• douche box
• douche chills
• douche fuck
• douche wagon
1. A cleansing wipe for a penis.
2. A female equivalent of a Douche bag, that is usually PMS'ing and in a real bitchy state.
2. A female equivalent of a Douche bag, that is usually PMS'ing and in a real bitchy state.
a. Eric: Damn! your mom threw my gameboy out the window because she said it was too loud!
John: Yeah... Shes being a real dick douche today...
b. Girl: Why does your junk smell like febreze?
Boy: I just used a dick douche!
John: Yeah... Shes being a real dick douche today...
b. Girl: Why does your junk smell like febreze?
Boy: I just used a dick douche!
by Wattx April 3, 2009
Get the Dick Douche mug.A douche unit is any person or thing, who's apparent assigned task in life, is to be a douche. they may perform very well or very badly at this, but the important thing, is that they are a douche most or all of the time, on a regular basis. they may wake up in the morning, and begin douching, as in, blowing nonsense bullshit everywhere, and then sucking shit afterwards. this process is repeated until they are killed, or locked in a soundproof room, or are distracted and find douchination elsewhere.
"Mike is a solid douche unit, it's really apparent he is only here to be a slimefuck"
"I tried to get to work on time today but a douche unit kept trying to pull over in the middle of the road to look at bullshit"
"Your order would be ready today, except a douche unit was involved in inventory control and shit went down, and up again"
"I tried to get to work on time today but a douche unit kept trying to pull over in the middle of the road to look at bullshit"
"Your order would be ready today, except a douche unit was involved in inventory control and shit went down, and up again"
by ApoC_101 November 11, 2007
Get the Douche Unit mug.I met Ryan Seacrest in at the Fucktardistan airport on his way to Assholinia, and had a layover in Douchebagadonia.
by The Timmeh April 4, 2009
Get the Douchebagadonia mug.by Rude1iscool March 27, 2011
Get the Douche Magoosh mug.Someone whose pathetic work ethic is only matched by a complete lack of job skills.
There could be no more worthless an item in the universe than douche that's been used, so this should be reserved for those individuals who make one question the efficacy of evolution.
Can also be used in acronym form, SD.
There could be no more worthless an item in the universe than douche that's been used, so this should be reserved for those individuals who make one question the efficacy of evolution.
Can also be used in acronym form, SD.
"Dude, you didn't rack up the new server last week while I was on vacation!?"
"No, I couldn't find a cart so it's still in the mail room."
"DAMN... spent douche"
"No, I couldn't find a cart so it's still in the mail room."
"DAMN... spent douche"
by pabloxyz2003 July 6, 2009
Get the Spent Douche mug.