Guyger Counter

Similar to gaydar, this is the sixth sense many men possess which helps them to determine exactly how crazioactive a woman is.

Two guys at a bar:

Guy One: Ok dude, let's see what we've got going on tonight

Guy Two: Alright man, let me turn on the Guyger Counter

Guy One: What about the redhead?

Guy Two: No-go, still broken up over her last boyfriend

Guy One: The blonde?

Guy Two: Severely insecure because she's been a bridesmaid in 6 weddings, is nearing 30, and hasn't been in a steady relationship since she was 19

Guy One: Short skirt?

Guy Two: Jealousy issues.

Guy One: Ok, what about Glasses over there.

Guy Two: Hmm...I don't know. I'm getting a low reading, possibly within safe parameters. She's probably not too crazioactive. I say go for it.

by McGuyger January 8, 2010

Count Scroggula

An Eastern European nobleman known for his supernatural scrogging abilities.

Sherry: Oh, my god! You know that guy, Count Scroggula? He flew into my window last night and we scrogged until sunup! I had so many gushing orgasms, I thought I was gonna shrivel up and die!

Melanie: Ooo! I know a horny woman who's sleeping with her window open tonight!

by Misty Dawn August 5, 2008

count spunkula

The name of sex vampire who is originally thought to be Nad the Impale-her.

A man, at home, alone, watching 'Count Spunkula Lives!' with his bored housewife. The TV woman get a hugely impossible facial. The man looks longingly at his wife and she shoves a pencil down his dick. How's that?

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 10, 2008

counter-seductive

when somebody tries to do things to appear more desirable and fails to the most negative degree.

friend1:man! you see ol' girl's ass in that outfit? she's killin' em!

friend2:but really did you see the 80 layers of make-up? sooo counter-seductive...

by Korbin Pheenix January 26, 2009

Counterlulz

The enjoyment taken out of ruining someone elses fun. Especially on a messageboard/forum.

Kiko: Bugman89, why did you ruin it?

Bugman89: Because I also get lulz from ruining you guys' fun. I call it counterlulz

by Dudey McCool April 27, 2009

counterproductive procrastinator

(1). someone who is defined as a counterproductive procrastinator. They never do what they say their going to as a result of laziness and or just a short attention span.

(2). never following through on a task they have set for themselves due to laziness.

(3). saying their going to do something then changing their mind a few moments later finding every obstacle possible to feed into their constant laziness.

guy: " That snow man is giving me the evils...I'm gunna kick it's ass...but its cold out there so im just gonna play xbox...and the door is locked and im to lazy to deal with that tonight..then i'd have to walk..which is just totally out of the question...i don't even wanna play xbox anymore...im just gonna sit here. i really need to stop being a counterproductive procrastinator one of these days or i'm gonna get nowhere."

by AndiLeaMissouri December 5, 2010

counter cock block

Someone who prevents you from being cock blocked; usually another female you bring to distract a cock block and therefore neutralize the cock blocker.

John was trying to tell embarrassing stories about me so he could prevent me from scoring with a hot girl, but I distracted him with my friend nancy, the counter cock block. She pretended to be interested in him so he would stop being jealous and cock blocking me.

by markos maximus January 14, 2011