Chav- subspecies of human. noted for the choice of shell-suit body armour, their chariot, usually a Nova, choice in shit beer, tucking leg garments (refered to as "trakkies") into the socks, the body language and accent.
WARNING! A CHAV IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A ZOMBIE WHICH THEY BEAR RESEMBELANCE TO IN MANY TERMS. USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE ON THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, BY GOING TO A CHAV INFESTED AREA. THE ZOMBIES WILL IGNORE SAID AREA, THINKING THE DISEASE HAS ALREADY SPREAD TO THAT AREA
WARNING! A CHAV IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A ZOMBIE WHICH THEY BEAR RESEMBELANCE TO IN MANY TERMS. USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE ON THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, BY GOING TO A CHAV INFESTED AREA. THE ZOMBIES WILL IGNORE SAID AREA, THINKING THE DISEASE HAS ALREADY SPREAD TO THAT AREA
Essex is the sfest place to be in a zombie outbreak, just try to blend in with the chavs and you should live for at least a day*
*being in essex, you will probably be "shanked" or "have a cap popped in yo ass"
*being in essex, you will probably be "shanked" or "have a cap popped in yo ass"
by noodlesoficeUK January 15, 2009
Get the Chav mug.Being ugly but yet tring to appear uglier by wearing hideous tracksuits and usually over-blinged. Easily found, just look for council houses and herds of kids.
by LauraaaWood December 21, 2008
Get the Chav mug.a person who wears burberry, smokes makes fun of people who are different from others, watches X-Factor other reality shows and adds "eh" on words such as "me", "Hippie" "baby"
In northern ireland they are known as spides
In northern ireland they are known as spides
by Chavhater_85 December 30, 2008
Get the Chav mug.Well, i used to believe chavs were what most people on here have written. But not until the other day i realised they wern't. 'Chav' is a personality type, more than a look. 'Chavs' generally are loud-mouthed teens. They normally 'start' on Emos, goths, or anyone different to them. And they all dress the same, i suppose that doesnt make them chavish, but they wud be like 'OMG WTF ARE YOU WEARING?' if you didn't go out your door in a nike trackie.
Chavs 1 (atood outside maccys): OMG LOOK AT DAT BIG GOTH.
Sk8r: Um..
Chavs 2: Lets get him.
emo (sk8rs friend): Um, i think its time we went.
Chavs 1: Where the fuck do you think your goin, are you startin?
Sk8r: Um..
Chavs 2: Lets get him.
emo (sk8rs friend): Um, i think its time we went.
Chavs 1: Where the fuck do you think your goin, are you startin?
by Dazzy April 10, 2006
Get the chavs mug.Gah...those chavs really do suck.
You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.
TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)
AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.
WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.
DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.
Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.
CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.
DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.
LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.
male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.
DISLIKES:
Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.
Male: Greebos.
CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.
TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)
AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.
WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.
DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.
Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.
CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.
DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.
LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.
male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.
DISLIKES:
Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.
Male: Greebos.
CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!
Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.
Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!
Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.
Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 1, 2006
Get the chavs mug.Chavs are cunts! It has to be said once and for all. They are the lowest scummiest form of life and Britain would be a better, less crime filled place without them. Also anyone who they see who isn't a chav is a grunger! That is fucking ridiculous!!!
I have long hair and i am a keen guitar player. That makes me a grunger according to chavs. Oh yeh, i also have been told i have a mullet, afro, i'm a hippi and i'm in the hair bear bunch...
Complete bunch of wankers!!!
Complete bunch of wankers!!!
by Paul January 17, 2004
Get the Chavs mug.a group of people, usually consisting of 30 or more (for their own protection from greebs of course) who wear burberry and cheap plastic jewlerry(aka bling) who tend to spend their time taking the piss out of greebs and goths etc(basically anyone who isnt a chav) however, on a friday night they manage to twar themselves away from this joy to go 'up lye' for ' a curry and a fight' as well as getting ratted whenever possible. also known for smoking from an early age and getting pregnant at 6
chav: heygreb, you strtin innit wanna fight me and meh homies innit look at ma bling
greeb: get a life
chav: i got one im off up the lye for a curry and a fight wit ma mates
greeb: wow i wish i had such a good life as you obviously do
chav: thats it ive had it wit you you greeb
greeb:ok then have fun with that :)
chav: oi homies this greeb dissin me innit
*greeb by this time is wetting him/herself laughing
greeb: get a life
chav: i got one im off up the lye for a curry and a fight wit ma mates
greeb: wow i wish i had such a good life as you obviously do
chav: thats it ive had it wit you you greeb
greeb:ok then have fun with that :)
chav: oi homies this greeb dissin me innit
*greeb by this time is wetting him/herself laughing
by liz aka liz July 7, 2005
Get the chavs mug.