benjamin johnathan briggery briggs

benjamin johnathan briggery briggs aka "the skinwalker" , "boogalie" or simply "it", is a large, lankey, orange being known to roam around public parks and lithuanian embassys during the night trying to capture little boys to use in its experiments. it is known for being a test subject for heffley trafficking inc. its true form is believed to be so revolting, slimy, hideous, oily and dandruffy that anyone who comes into contact with it is simply too shocked and horrified to breath. for centuries there have been reported sightings of it and its lovers, xaviwavi, jamal and zac. in order to summon this ungodly creature the words "i cant do a pushup" , "i enjoy watching porn" or simply "we go jim" must be recited 3x and it is believed to show up immeadiatley and suck you through its phat hairy orange arsehole to the heffley trafficking inc dimension where you or your test subject will be experimented on. there are some well known repellants that have been used against it are: basic hygene, regular porn, hentai, women and people who are against crypto.

A- "bro there was some 8ft thingy hiding near that house!"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"

by sharon6969420 November 20, 2022

The boobs are always bigger on the other guy's woman

A "farm-girl instead of farm-land" variation on da old "seemingly lusher turf on neighboring fields" saying.

While it may indeed often be true dat "The boobs are always bigger on the other guy's woman", dat does not necessarily have to be an unhappy situation for you, since in some cases you could just try secretly asking said chestier chick if you yourself could softly savor her more-ample chest-pillows with yer own paws. Just find out first if da gorgeous Miss Bosomy is still of child-bearing age, though, in which case you should always be sure to bring a few condoms wif you, in case things "progress further" than just misty-eyed chest-kneadings and other "hands and lips only" activities!

by QuacksO October 18, 2025

The smaller the tits the bigger the hoe

If you are a hoe you have more sex and sex makes you loose weight (scientifically speaking) therefore the more sex you have the more weight you loose and the more weight you loose the smaller your tits are

Ryan: damn she’s fine but she has like no tits bro.

Matt: oh nah dude don’t be fooled I hear she’s a hoe that could be why she ain’t got got no tits.

Ryan: wdym bro
Matt: I mean you know what they say the smaller the tits the bigger the hoe

by Del0920 August 12, 2021

You're gonna need a bigger mansion

What da ghostbusters told da owners of da infamous Long Island "horror house" when they saw da true scope of said dwelling's supernatural presence.

As substantial as da three-story domicile on Ocean Avenue in AmityVILLE has become, one hasta wonder if da former owners were told, "You're gonna need a bigger MANSION" in order to better deal with said residence's paranormal entities, just as Amity ISLAND's deep-sea-fishing captain was told dat he was gonna need a bigger BOAT when they saw da actual size of da aquatic carnivore dat they were dealing with.

by QuacksO March 29, 2025

<.7.9.7.6.>Bigger, bigGger, biggeR<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Bigger, bigGger, biggeR<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Bigger, bigGger, biggeR<.7.9.7.6.>

by Adujasty343 August 29, 2025