An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.
Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
by EliTried December 21, 2021
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Someone who has a skinny frame with ginger hair.
Person 1: fuck off lad I'll stab ya
Person 2 : oh Ben mate stop being an absolute peckhead
by Jimmy savie September 5, 2021
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dom is the sexiest man alive and he loves watching gay midget hardcore anal hentai
somebody walks into doms room...
dom is naked and he glittering somehow and in the back round you see hentai porn
Man"what are doing"
Dom"what do you think i'm doing"
Man"you are the absolute SEXIEST man alive"
by me kill YOU December 15, 2022
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Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.
That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.
by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022
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A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.
"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"
by FuckinBlazeItM8 September 16, 2015
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If you call someone an absolute botatron it means that the are too good to be true and are an absolutely a class person to be around.
by Lethal con October 21, 2022
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