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Bleeding Statesman

Origin: First officially documented in the year of our Lord 2024 by Mike K. of Redondo Beach — a man whose voice was smooth as silk and whose spiritual awakening is constantly being tested by schmo's playing with their phones in meetings, and weak coffee. Blessings be unto him.

An evolved species of AA old-timer who walks the fine line between enlightenment and homicide. The Bleeding Statesman is a spiritual hybrid — part Elder Statesman, part Bleeding Deacon — combining hard-won wisdom with low-key exasperation and an intolerance for bullshit.

With decades of sobriety under their belt, they’ve seen it all — the steps, the slogans, the cycles — and still manage to show up (mostly on time). They carry a sharp spiritual toolkit and just enough restraint to stay out of jail. Think Zen master, but with mild caffeine withdrawal and unresolved group conscience trauma.

They don’t judge — they perform character assessments.
They meditate — on que with "I cant believe this b*tch is sharing this again"
They’re spiritually grounded — but always five seconds away from leaving.
“I watched Mike meditate for like 40 minutes before the meeting… but then he snapped and told the newcomer to stop reading the promises like it was a TED Talk. That man’s a textbook Bleeding Statesman.”

“The dude’s got 30 years, quotes the Big Book and Marcus Aurelius, and still glares when someone’s late. Total Bleeding Statesman.”

“He sat through 10 minutes of announcements grumbling… then muttered, ‘This isn’t a PTA meeting,’ and walked out. Bleeding Statesman energy all day.”

“She shared for 25 minutes about her cat, and he just sat there blinking. Then he whispered, ‘Tradition Five, not storytime,’ and stared into the void. Certified Bleeding Statesman.”
by Sponsorus Maximus April 6, 2025
mugGet the Bleeding Statesmanmug.

Bleeding walls

When a man inserts his hairy Johnson into a teens virgin tiny uterus causing severe bleeding.
by Donny potty July 11, 2018
mugGet the Bleeding wallsmug.

bleeding eye

Become red Sans
Owen fucking punched me in the eye and now I have a bleeding eye like I’m red Sans!
by Antesma March 16, 2021
mugGet the bleeding eyemug.

my eyes are bleeding

when you see something that is so horrible, like gacha heat.
person1: Hey person2 look at this video!

person2: what the fuck is this

person1: my hot Roblox girlfriend!

person2: my eyes are bleeding
by aggressivefart May 4, 2022
mugGet the my eyes are bleedingmug.

Bleeding

If you're playing a card game, and someone yells "You're bleeding!" It usually means that they can see yours or someone else's cards. If somebody says this to do, hide your cards.
Kid: Hey! You're bleeding!

*fixes cards*
by Hasslehoff💪 May 24, 2022
mugGet the Bleedingmug.

Bleeding

Bleeding on someone is to follow behind a Cross Country runner at a slower pase then speed up faster passing them towards the end of the race.
She was bleeding on me the whole race
by Siren Sherwood May 3, 2021
mugGet the Bleedingmug.

Napalm Bleed

The act of an insane nose bleed. Usually found in animes, and people who are about to die.
When I saw that girl I had a Napalm Bleed
by MemoliLover February 1, 2019
mugGet the Napalm Bleedmug.

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