Proximity Father

A father only willing to be a father if his children are geographically convenient to get to.

"I hadn't seen my dad in years. Only when I was in town did he want to play dad for his kids, being a proximity father and all."

by Racon2R August 25, 2009

Proximity crush

1. An attraction to someone not particularly attractive, developed from frequent and prolonged exposure to the person.

2. The subject of the attraction.

I have such a proximity crush on my new teammate.

That new girl in class is my proximity crush.

by MystJake June 5, 2020

proximity friendship

A friendship that is formed when two people are put in a situation outside of their control. Most applicable when the two individuals have little in common and otherwise would not form a relationship.

Jim: "So how did you and Bob meet? The two of you don't seem like you have much in common."
Frank: "I was on a skiing trip and Bob and I ended up on the same gondola...I guess you could call it a proximity friendship."

by Jonny T October 1, 2007

Profanity Faucet

(1) Generalized term for a middle aged douchebag residing in the pacific northwest. Hobbies include working as an IT peeon, posting audio clips of failed American Idol demo tapes on the internet and generally living up to the acne ridden WoW playing virgin stereotype which is the IT "professional".
(2) Term used by aforementioned individual in a sad attempt to appear "edgy" or "hard" during failed attempts at the human mating ritual.
(3) 16th Century Scottish term for violent bloody diarrhea.

(1) That guy who couldn't fix my printer problems was a real profanity facuet
(2) Hey baby, you must have some plumber crack cuz' this profanity faucet is bro-o-ken
(3) I had a touch o' the ol' profanity faucet last night mate, musta been that there chicken yous wife neer' cooked right

by Catalysis April 23, 2010

Profanity

When professionals show their fannies in public

It could also mean a cuss word

1. That profanity party is insane!

2. Don't use profanity in my house

by SimDevoSlipknot May 29, 2016

proximity mine

Pooping into the tank of a toilet, and taking the float out. This will make poopy water overflow from the toilet tank. The pure genious of this action is that most people almost always leave the bathroom while the tank is still filling.

"I went to that frat house last night and planted a proximity mine, by taking the float out and pooping in the tank of one of their toilets."

by Pantanto April 30, 2004

proximity sensor

The nerve sensor inside your rectum that causes you to feel an increasing urgency to poop the closer you get to a toilet. The proximity sensor is activated by an already present need to take a crap. Once in the vicinity of a restroom, your proximity sensor will alert you that you are running out of time to reach the toilet and drop your pants, or suffer the consequences...

As I walked towards the bathroom, cheeks tightly clenched, my proximity sensor went crazy and I nearly pooped my pants before I could sit down.

by igottago... July 29, 2011