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Clag Nut Rub

Picking your Clag Nuts then rubbing them in someone else's face
by Greg_the_Smeg February 7, 2019
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I’d give my left nut to…

I’d give my left nut to… — one of the larger hyperbolic lies men tell to express an acquisitive faux passion.

I don’t know any men who would actually give up their left nut for any reason! But, I and a lot of men I know have said this at least once in our lifetime — usually expressing a desire in an arena where loosing a nut would be counter productive.

Well…no one ever said hyperbole was logical.

Any why the left nut?

Is the right nut biologically more powerful; do testicles work like kidneys where one is more dominant?

Most poetic expression falls apart when subjected to even a little scrutiny.

So no — we would not REALLY give up our left nut. That’s just some hyperbolic shit to say!!!!
The expression “ I’d give my left nut to…” used in a context to illustrate its usage:

I’d give my left nut to to have sex with Sydnee Sweeny and give her brumski .
by Mind Hunter the Profiler May 30, 2023
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Post-Nut Depression

The sensation of absolute hopelessness and disgust that is experienced after one has busted a nut
Dude I just blew my load and I'm having the worst case of post-nut depression right now
by Pastalino January 8, 2017
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Post Nut Clarity

The feeling of lucidity a man gets after he has been beating it--this feeling gets worse with the weirder shit a man has been jerking off to
Jerry: Dude, yesterday i was watching wizard of oz and jacking off to it, and post nut clarity hit me hard when i realized putting my dick in a scarecrow isn't normal.
Brian: Jerry what the fuck
by Im not drunk April 23, 2018
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Mexican Nut Shot

When a male forms his scrotum into shape of a bowl to create a shot glass. He then pours tequila into the bowl portion, lines the rim with salt, and squirts a layer of lime juice on his penis. Then someone licks the salt, takes the shot, and laps up the lime juice.
When John quaffed the Mexican Nut Shot from Eric he accidentally swallowed the worm...
by MexicanNutShot August 23, 2014
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nut guppy

A co-worker who is always hanging off the boss's nut sack.
Look at JJ in the boss's office, that guy is such a fuckin nut guppy.
by jjredcorn January 5, 2017
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Cost per Nut (CPN)

Cost per Nut (CPN) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”

In its simplest form:

CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)

MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.

Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.

Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.

CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.

In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"

"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
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