Thank God for Mississippi

Mississippi is stereotyped as being at the top of bad categories (crime), and at the bottom of good categories (education). "Thank God for Mississippi" is often used in relief, because statistically speaking, Mississippi will be worse off than your state.

When he got the new rankings of primary education by state, the state superintendent of education exclaimed "Thank God for Mississippi" in relief.

by koalaroo May 26, 2008

Mississippi Slap

The act of deliberately using a slipper, or a similarly floppy article of clothing, to slap the vagina repeatedly.

Due to the Bird's persistent cheek, it was necessary to pin him down and produce the Mississippi Slap.

by blueapple1 March 14, 2011

Mississippi Meat Handled

When you are pounding a girls box from behind and she reaches her hand up her fart box to jerk your meat off.

Dude, I went to Chili's for lunch and ended up getting Mississippi Meat Handled by the hot hostess.

by rixter1971 April 27, 2012

Mississippi Flapjack

Slapping your cock on relatives ass.

"Hey did you hear about Dustin Adams dropping his pants and giving his sister a Mississippi flapjack?"

by HughJayness February 26, 2017

one-mississippi

Often the phrase used to count out a full second.

"On the count of three, okay?"
"Okay! One-Mississippi...two Mississippi...three-Mississippi...go!"

by eeadl November 23, 2013

Mississippi Blow Dart

When you are about to nut, instead of pulling out and turning her into a toaster strudel, you shoot your badger milk into your own mouth then blow it out as hard as you can into her face.

I just gave my brother's sister a Mississippi Blow Dart. Her dad couldn't hold the camera steady any longer because he was laughing too hard.

by DirtyOilFieldMinds May 18, 2016

Mississippi Haunted House

The act of masterbating in your own hands to form a puddle of sticky baby batter in your palm. The individual then smacks his hands together in an aggressive manner. Then slowly release the hands in an equal and outward motion creating a spiderweb effect between your hands. Finally, shove your own face or an preferably any unsuspecting victims face into the strings of sticky mess. The desired effect should feel eerily similar to that of walking into spiderwebs inside of a haunted house.

Bro 1- “Dude, I don’t know what product you use but your hair looks great. So shiny and slick, but what’s with the glistening lines running like highways across your face??”

Bro 2- “Oh that’s not hair product, and those freeways of goodness you noticed are in fact cum. When I walked into the party, Chad hit me with an old fashioned Mississippi Haunted House and slathered me brow to chin in cum.”

Bro 1- “Sorry about the cum, but you gotta respect the got bro.”

by ButtleLicker69420 January 14, 2020