Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

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Masturbating Muscle

The muscle you develop between your forearm and bicep on the arm of the hand you masturbate with.

John: Hey broski, wanna hang tonight?

Joe: Ehh... I dunno, I was really gonna work on toning my masturbating muscle tonight.

John: Oh.. I getcha, I worked on it last night.

by aaronthejoo May 11, 2011

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masturbetting

the act of betting a friend who can go the longest without masturbating (creaming the carrot)

So, my friend Jerry and I started masturbetting the other day after recalling all the wasted time we spent beating the meat stick.

by Gastrogary February 20, 2011

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Masturbitting

The act of masturbating with ones Fitbit arm for the sole purpose of inflating their step count.

While in the midst of a Fitbit challenge a Strip Club Guru had only one chance to catch up. He went on an intense masturbitting sesh in the champagne room and ultimately finished sausage on top. The remnants of the act often resemble a Juanz Trail.

by Ernie_McCracken January 30, 2018