Masturbating

The worlds leading cause of blindness

Did you hear that masturbating makes you blind, its true

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Having sex with yourself

when a male/female don't have a partner, so instead they touch their funny parts to replicate the feeling of sex

Person: i will touch my pp!
*violently "strengthens" pp*

Person: masturbating is so cool!

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masturbating

Having sex with your own hand or even using a fake dick (dildo) in the case of girls (or very messed up guys)... its very pathetic.

John is masturbating every night because he has no hope of ever having actual sex.

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Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*

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Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*

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What you were trying to do when your Mom caught you.

Chad were you masturbating?
No Mom my pants just slipped down and I was pulling them up!

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.

Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.

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