Kraken

A spiced rum that gives the drinker false confidence in their abilities. They will start with the rum and continue to consume various alcoholic beverages until they are forced to succumb to the darkness that is the Kraken. Few have experienced the nightmare and survived to tell the tale.

WARNING: excessive use may lead to, but not limited to one of the following results... laughing, crying, dry heaves, stumbling, slurring, quickly sitting down, laying down, falling down, violently falling down, vomiting, black outs, black heads, black people, nightmares, night terrors, bad dreams, weird dreams, wet dreams, no dreams, unwanted spooning with members of both sexes, lowered self esteem, or an unprecedented over confidence surpassed by none that will eventually lead to your demise in a foolish and regrettable way. (for other potential symptoms see "Black the fuck out")

...always worth it.

(Jim enters casually): Oh hey there!
Dean: Hello to you good sir, to what do I owe the pleasure?
Jim: I bought us a bottle of Kraken...
(Dean spits out his drink): You what?! You FOOL!!!
Jim: what? I didn't know... we can just take it back...
Dean: No, no you f*ckin' can't. Now man up and prepare to die...

by -Robert Holden November 2, 2010

Kraken

A mythical sea beast that lived 250 years ago. He's a massive monster with tentacles, big bug eyes, multicolored skin, and a retarded wiggley smile. The absolute worst of the worst, just fucking rude, smug, good for nothing, worthless punk ass bitch. Straight up needs to see a plastic surgeon because no living creature should have such a fucked up wiggley smile. Nothing more than a shit eating, friend stealing, back stabbing, lying, cheating, sailor killing, boat tipping, fucking tentacle having freak who should get the fuck out of the ocean because every single living soul in the world despises him. Literally the dirt under your shoes that is so repulsive it makes you want to rip out your eyes and donate them to a blind person, only to kill that blind person because that shit was so down right gross, just fucking raunchy. The most ugly, white trash, baby stealing, shit eating mother fucker, just fucking sitting around all day smiling. Straight trash.

"The kraken killed every single person I know because it knew a guy who knew me. He burned my house down too."

"Yo man, I'm sorry to hear about that. I heard one time the kraken sold crack to a school of cancer patients and then blew up a church and burned down all the forests on the east coast."

"Motha fuckin jam!"

by M FUCKING JAM July 29, 2009

Release the kraken

To pwn, to kick the ass of whomever you're releasing the kraken on

I'm totally going to release the kraken on that test tomorrow

by ashraptor April 1, 2010

Unleash the Kraken

To defecate ferociously. This is not your normal "Number two", it's a savage attack on the porcelain perch.

"Oh dear god, that Taco Bell was a mistake. Time to…

…UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!"

by the-grue April 8, 2010

kraken hamster

A crazy asian ex-girlfriend who always makes hamster faces, yet continues to stalk exes until police involvement is needed.

Whoa, that girl is a total kraken hamster.

by InnocentBystander1 August 3, 2011

Kraken on crack

A small dwarf that loves jerking off to digimon and has a pet dolphin that’s retarded UWU

Stop being a kraken on crack

by Blackballsxdxdxd May 14, 2021

Zombie Kraken

1) A near undefeatable monster of biblical proportions originating from the sea which can survive on land. The Zombie Kraken is capable of devouring the largest of ships and small towns with relative ease. Its quick temper and vengeful nature makes it a beast best avoided.

2) A rock band which documents the many adventures of the Kraken in its un-dead form.

“Here comes the Zombie Kraken! Better make like a tree.”

by KrakenFan September 29, 2012