Hapiloons

Hapiloons are a unit of achieved happiness. Once achieved or experienced can not be lost.

Hapiloons are ALWAYS positive and there is no opposite. If one is alive, one is achieving hapiloons.

At the very lowest state of existence, one may be achieving only 0.0001 hapiloons per minute.

Can Hapiloons and Qualitars be lost?

Hapiloons are something that you have experienced, just as a memory is experienced, thus they cannot be lost. (if you lose the memory of experiencing the hapiloons, this does not mean hapiloons are lost as they still happened, mayhap if someone went back in time and destroyed the moment where you achieved hapiloons.. that ‘may’ be classified as a loss of hapiloons...)

What About Unhappiness?

Unhappiness is a pseudo-emotion; it is in fact a misinterpretation of ones state of hapiloon flow. Naturally our minds predict how many hapiloons we should be achieving. When something happens that causes a temporary drop in level of happiness, we achieve less hapiloons than we expected. (this is interpreted as unhappiness when it is in fact a lower level of happiness) If something happens to all of a sudden give us many hapiloons (more than the predicted amount) we often relate this to being happy.

Example – I ate a banana, it tasted good and gave me 5 hapiloons!
Example – I really like this girl, she kissed me today, it totally gave me 8 zillion hapiloons!!
Example – I watched a movie, it was so good it gave me 80 000 hapiloons!

Question – “So if I am being kicked while down and say, ‘how could things get worse?’ and then lightening strikes me I still have hapiloons?”
Answer – Yes Absolutely, you may have had 1 hapiloon per second while being kicked, and then 0.9 hapiloons per second while being struck by lightening. You had some level of happiness.

Example – Hapiloon Dude: Today I was riding a bike I was happy getting like, 20 hapiloons per minute. Then I crashed my bike some guy kicked me really hard, stole my wallet, ran off and threw my money and ID into a gigantic vat of oil and lit it on fire.
Someone else: Whoa you must be unhappy now…
Hapiloon Dude: I am still extremely happy as I am achieving about 10 hapiloons per minute, I wish the things did not happen as I would still be achieving 20 hapiloons per minute, but I am happy nonetheless.

Example - Someone: I am unhappy
Hapiloon Dude: What things make you happy right now?
Someone: I am eating ice-cream and watching a movie.
Hapiloon Dude: so you Are happy, but not As happy as you once were?

by Andrew Betts March 24, 2007

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