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George Carlin

The comedy king who ccan out-funny ANY comedian that has ever set foot uopn this planet!
They're going to ban the toy guns..AND THEY'RE GONNA KEEP THE FUCKIN REAL ONES!!
by James Lowe May 7, 2004
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George Carlin

The originator of "Truth Comedy," and the One True God
"I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick!"
by the_ruiner June 17, 2004
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Related Words
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George Carlin

George Carlin is the funniest comedian that has ever lived. George Carlin is responsible for the original list of "7 words you can't say on T.V." A man who never cares who he may offend, as long as he has SOMEONE pissing themselves laughing.
George Carlin Quotes

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization"

"People with low self-esteem have earned it"

"Let's give credit where credit is due, and admit that scotch tape was a really good idea"
by NikSno May 22, 2006
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cardiothartic

The purging of ones heartaches / a catharsis of the heart
I know it's petty, but when I saw my ex who dumped me - not looking great, with boring date - it was a cardiothartic experience.
by ΔиłĦ☼иצ ߀₡ʞ December 23, 2011
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George Carlin

Didn't George Carlin say, "'Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "HOLY SHIT....WHAT A RIDE!"', or something like that?
by birdofprey May 20, 2009
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Cardiovascularmalexia

Terminal disease that restricts blood flow to the ears. If untreated, your ears will fall off and the disease will eventually spread to the brain resulting in death. The only treatment is to warm up your ears by using the inner thighs of a preferably pretty female. The easiest way is to allow the female to sit on your face so the warmest part of her body will be warming your ears up to avoid death. You need to stay in that position constantly.
I’m not a perv, I just have cardiovascularmalexia. it’s terminal
by THE SHMORT January 1, 2020
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Carlinism

The shared beliefs of George Carlin (1937-2008), one of the greatest human minds that ever lived. Carlin taught us that Republicans/Conservatives are full of shit, kids today are largely flawed, God doesn't exist and those who believe in most religion are assholes who kill people for no reason (His words, not mine.), and people in general are scared, weak, evil, manipulative, callous sacks of shit who sit around playing with their pricks until they die, and other such thoughts.
Churchgoer: Hey, I'm going to church, wanna come?

Carlinist: No thank you, I believe in Carlinism, now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jack off.
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