Hummingbird Vasectomy

The act of taking a caprisun straw from the packet, jamming it into your partners urethra while handcuffed to show your little wings flapping as you suck the nut deep from within the genitals.

"Did you hear about Mark and Milly's new bedroom passtime? he said that sometimes she likes to give him a hummingbird vasectomy to make him feel like a pretty flower."

by goatfetus June 23, 2023

vasextomy

Up'ing your sext game when you and your bae are long distance to try and stay connected

I gotta have a vasextomy, without my girlfriend next to me
Janet: So John won't be back from his trip for another two weeks?
Amanda: Yeah, we're going through a vasextomy right now
Janet: 🍑

by Manda+JaMiS January 11, 2017

gangster vasectomy

When you carry a gun tucked into your waist band (gangster carry) and shoot your nuts off.

Is the guy in trauma bay 1 going to surgery for his gangster vasectomy?

by trauma_cow September 3, 2012

Catholic vasectomy

(n.) 1. A complex non-procedure in which a wife withholds sex from her husband after the couple decided to stop having children, thus negating the need for the husband to get an actual vasectomy. 2. The most effective form of birth control ever conceived by (wo)man.

Q: Hey, man, did you get snipped?
A: Nah, my wife gave me a Catholic vasectomy instead.

by Snark Chariot September 13, 2014

Mental Vasectomy

Watching or listening to something that makes your balls hurt just from thinking about it

Paul - "yesterday I watched this video where some guy shoved a screwdriver up his penis!!"

Don - "dude, shut up, you're giving me a mental vasectomy"

by Ulysses H. Ficus February 21, 2011

field vasectomy

an informally performed surgery, usually without benefit of anasthesia, sterilization, or any kind of hygienic preparation. similar procedures include field castration, field lobotomy, field amputation, etc. in all cases the patient is someone deserving of rough treatment, and the surgeon is the person providing it.

harry: did you hear about cary? his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her, so she gave him a field vasectomy.
larry: ouch!! did she use any instruments?
harry: well, mostly she used her hands, feet, and knees. she did threaten to perform a field castration with a rusty spoon if she caught him cheating again.
larry: jeez, what a dumb fuck. he should have worn a cup.

by earpuller December 28, 2005

DIY Vasectomy

Twisting your testicles until all circulation cuts off and you can pull them off with ease.

“Hey, where’s Isaiah?” “Didn’t you hear? He tried a DIY Vasectomy and he’s been at the hospital!”

by badgirl22 December 3, 2018