two hand man 

a man that needs two hands to fit around thier nutters, and enjoy being touched by 13 year olds .

jeffie
THM SR.= two hand man senior :)

two hand man by Silly billy bean February 13, 2009

texas two hand

When one has a cock of enormous girth and length, and one hand is just not enough.

Man, my slong is so huge, I had to give myself a Texas two hand.

texas two hand by Kevin March 31, 2005

two hand slam 

Two hand slam is the act of pleasuring ones self with both hands vigorously. Commonly done by males with an average penis size to make them think it's bigger than it actually is. If one is fortunate enough to receive said two hand slam it will be a very memorable experience and cause you to only pleasure yourself with it from here on out

Guy 1: Man, both of my forearms are super sore

Guy 2: Bro, it's gotta be from all the jerking off

Guy 1: No its not that...
Guy 2: Once you get used to the two hand slam your forearms won't hurt anymore. Trust me

two hand slam by Two hand slammer October 10, 2017

Two Hand Timmy 

The act of launching someone with one/two arms, proceeding to hit the victims head onto a piece of furniture or wall.

“Brett what’d you do??”
“I two hand timmy’d him”

Two Hand Timmy by Digg Bickk January 17, 2020

two left hand boxing gloves 

When a Vagina is severly swolen after a night of sex. The Vagina resembles two left handed boxing gloves

Last night, I beat her pussy up and left it looking like two left hand boxing gloves.

two left hand boxing gloves by MustangDriver October 25, 2010

A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand 

A blowjob is worth the value of two handjobs. Frequently used in negotiations by cheap hookers. Not to be confused with the meaningful expression involving birds and bushes.

HOOKER: "Okay you got two blowjobs and half a handjob, that will be $4.50"
DUDE: "What? That's a bit steep, I thought you told me a handjob was only a dollar!"
HOOKER: "Its fair. A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand"

A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand by fgsdfsq November 4, 2014

a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand 

Sex with a woman is always preferable to jerking off

You coming to the party? There's going to be lots of trim.
Nah, gonna stay in and jerk off.

C'mon, dude, a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand.

a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand by Shuaman December 13, 2016