Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Brain: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentance, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.
Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire: Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around.
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through. Giggtty
(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Brain: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentance, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.
Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire: Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around.
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through. Giggtty
(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
by Seth Mcfarlane August 15, 2009
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Character in a cleverly vieled propiganda FOX cartoon similar to Simpsons
Character in a cleverly vieled propiganda FOX cartoon similar to Simpsons
Obama inherited a financial political quagmire intentionally created by the republican party to foil american health insurance reform,hopes, dreams and lives while the media lies seal our fates.
Although the Hopes of the majority of America were awakened the Quagmire of political self interest and greed continued to murder the uninsured!
Although the Hopes of the majority of America were awakened the Quagmire of political self interest and greed continued to murder the uninsured!
by hatchetman...heads on posts August 16, 2009
Get the quagmire mug./kwagmyer/ - noun
a person you'd prefer not to be around and who you really don’t want to be stuck talking to alone at a party because:
1.) they are impossible to read, and you can never figure out what’s really going on with them
2.) they will lead you into awkward, complex, and sticky situations where you’ll somehow end up knee deep in shit that isn't even yours
a person you'd prefer not to be around and who you really don’t want to be stuck talking to alone at a party because:
1.) they are impossible to read, and you can never figure out what’s really going on with them
2.) they will lead you into awkward, complex, and sticky situations where you’ll somehow end up knee deep in shit that isn't even yours
Example #1
"Bertha's been a total quagmire lately! I never know if she’s happy or pissed off, does she want me to talk to her or should I just shut up?!”
Example #2
Michelle " So how was the party last night, did you have fun?" Jody "Yeah it was super fun...until I got stuck talking to this quagmire. One minute I'm having a drink and chatting next thing I know, I'm in the backyard, mud wrestling a midget on a slip-and-slip!" Michelle "What the actual fuck...?" Jody "I don't wanna talk about it anymore..."
"Bertha's been a total quagmire lately! I never know if she’s happy or pissed off, does she want me to talk to her or should I just shut up?!”
Example #2
Michelle " So how was the party last night, did you have fun?" Jody "Yeah it was super fun...until I got stuck talking to this quagmire. One minute I'm having a drink and chatting next thing I know, I'm in the backyard, mud wrestling a midget on a slip-and-slip!" Michelle "What the actual fuck...?" Jody "I don't wanna talk about it anymore..."
by The Shuffler June 11, 2018
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by your left nut March 16, 2021
Get the Quagmire mug.Social Worker(laying in bed in the morning after sleeping with Quagmire):Glen honney, I've got a question for you. What do you do for a living?
Quagmire: I've got a question for you. Why are you still here?
Quagmire: I've got a question for you. Why are you still here?
by Elitist April 7, 2004
Get the quagmire mug.by Park School August 2, 2003
Get the Quagmire mug.Second funniest family guy character behind peter griffin always wants soemone to have sex with and always says giggity and says all right!
its quagmire giggity giggity goo!
by WavyCrip May 31, 2019
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