an individual, typically male, who incessantly second guesses the outcome of military battles recreated on television. Often addicted to the History Channel, has never served in the armed services, but is an active member of the NRA, an avid gun collector, yet doesn't hunt. Can be somewhat oblivious to spousal interests or needs.
Armchair mercenary: "Bla, bla, bla, then you know honey, if Brigadier General Warren's scouts hadn't found Little Round Top undefended, then Colonel Vincent wouldn't have led his brigade up the hill and set up a picket line. If General Lee's troops had just arrived there, say, just 10 minutes earlier, 20 tops, the Battle of Gettysburg would have been a Confederate victory! The rest would be history! Hey, grab me another beer, would ya?"
Wife: "You are sooo smart, snookums! You're my favorite armchair mercenary! Get your own beer, but just one! Remember? I've got to go, uh..... go and visit my sick friend again."
Armchair mercenary: "Hey, what if the Rebel snipers had had Barrett 50s with match ammo? Where'd I put the remote?
Wife: "You are sooo smart, snookums! You're my favorite armchair mercenary! Get your own beer, but just one! Remember? I've got to go, uh..... go and visit my sick friend again."
Armchair mercenary: "Hey, what if the Rebel snipers had had Barrett 50s with match ammo? Where'd I put the remote?
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 25, 2009
Get the armchair mercenary mug.Any talking head that makes a living spreading hysteria. CNN, Fox News, and the like harbor them.
Sean Hannity, Don Lemon, Bill O'Riley, Wolf Blitzer, Bret Baier, Rachel Maddow, Van Jones, and so on.
Sean Hannity, Don Lemon, Bill O'Riley, Wolf Blitzer, Bret Baier, Rachel Maddow, Van Jones, and so on.
The asshole hysteria merchants on Fox and CNN want to keep everybody in a state of fear with the relentless bullshit
they sell to the mindless idiots who worship them.
they sell to the mindless idiots who worship them.
by IH8JIGS November 30, 2021
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someone who loves biology and thinks that its better than any other subject. best example for this is amrit vignesh. they also love lukaku and his contribution to the chelsea team
by biomerchant July 11, 2022
Get the bio merchant mug.Someone who can sense the possibilities of others, but who may be unable to see the dangers in his own life because he is a dreamer. Walters are charismatic, kind and sensitive people, who should be cherished whenever you find them. Many are artists or spiritual people, wonderful to be around, and some are even quite fabulous.
by Swami Patrick September 24, 2020
Get the Walter Mercado mug.A pen merchant is an individual who’s only form of scoring is from penalties. One notorious pen merchant is Chelsea player “Porginho” who somehow placed 3rd in the 2021 ballon d’or awards after scoring 11 goals that happened to be 11 penalties. He ghosted for Euro 2020 and UCL 20/21
Friend 1: hey did Chelsea win last night?
Friend 2: yes thanks to Porginho! He’s a world class penalty merchant
Friend 2: yes thanks to Porginho! He’s a world class penalty merchant
by Libelllula December 31, 2021
Get the Penalty Merchant mug.She used to be the leader of the amphibia fandom but she lied about her age twice, said they didn’t care about their followers or mutuals, and made their profile picture a sexualized version of the 14 year old character Luz Noceda from The Owl House. She also made transphobic posts about the trans Anne headcanon and lied about being a lesbian. She did most of these things on her alt account b3an.can which she made after deleting her main.
by snapple_blood July 28, 2021
Get the marcanne.supremacy mug.by Durant is a Cupcake February 17, 2017
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