cry masturbate

this is a term used when you are so sad that you are brought to tears, and you use those delicate tears as lubrication and give yourself a run around the town. It's sad, pathetic, and often done after you break up with your significant other but aren't fortunate enough to have breakup sex.

Ted and I are over, so I'm gonna go cry masturbate

by whaijorgeh November 12, 2013

Minty Masturbate

Masturbation technique.... You put hard mints in your mouth before you masturbate and as you climax chew hard on the mints ... Your body like flips shit

Mother: damn Samuel your breath smells great
Samuel: thanks mum...
Samuels mother doesn't know he minty masturbates a lot

by Senna1998 June 15, 2014

Mathsterbation

Working really hard on a sum just for the feeling you get once you have solved it.

Guy #1 "OMG what's Elliott doing with his math book?"
Guy #2 "Eww! he's Mathsterbating!"
Guy #1 "So that's why he's sweating so much! Have fun with your Mathsterbation, Freak!"

by Disco Alpingu April 1, 2007

masturbateus interruptus

The name given to an individual who has a terrible habit of repeatedly interrupting one's solo-sex session.

Like clockwork George always seems to call me or barge into my room while I'm right in the middle of happy-time. From this day forward he shall be known as "Masturbateus Interruptus".

by Skeetl February 23, 2010

matchturbate

To masturbate to the profile picture of a person on match.com.

Yeah, I went on a date with that chick once. It didn't work out, but I still matchturbate to her profile pic after I come home drunk sometimes. But then I end up reading her profile and get sad when I read the part about her dog dying, and I can't finish.

by ghuuuuuuu July 4, 2010

masturbate

To sexually pleasure ones self. Masturbate

Oh my god I'm so bored, I may as well masturbate (oh damn I already am)!

by Matt xx April 20, 2006

masturbates furiously

Masturbating at a rate likely to cause friction burn.

Dude, wtf was Crowley doing this morning?

He was in early. He masturbates furiously when nobody is around... I wouldn't use that computer if I were you.

by 4th, disgusted March 6, 2008