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Maintenance Jerk

The act of masterbating prior to a social situation so that one does not get overly horny and end up having regretable intercourse.
Example:
1. Joe did a "maintenance jerk" before he went out so he doesnt get
horny and end up having sex with another ugly slut like last weekend.
by mnEBC October 26, 2012
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maintenance sex

Casual sex that holds you over between long-term partners.
Shaun was kind of a tool, but he provided me with great maintenance sex before I met Josh.
by don'tWaitUp June 14, 2010
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maintenance wipe

When you feel an itchy wet sensation around your anus, a maintenance wipe would be necessary to clear the condition. Usually caused from not wiping good enough the first time or from ripping a wet one (known as sharting).
"My anus is wet and I need to wipe, this requires a maintenance wipe."
by shofmonkey March 4, 2005
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maintenance blow job

Wife does this to perk her husband up enough to get his attention and in return is able to get real conversation from to fulfill her needy desires.
I gotta give my hubby a maintenance blow job tonight go that i can get him to talk to me about the farm table i want him to build me.
by #LovesToTalkToHubby December 14, 2014
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Maintenance tug

Quick handjob for maintenace purposes
I gave him a quick maintenance tug so he would quit trying to fuck me.
by Wordperv April 27, 2016
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maintenance sex

Sexual intercourse initiated by the male partner of a long term live-in relationship primarily for the relief of his sexual tension and usually occuring at the same time and place every week. If foreplay is included, it is uninspired and routine in nature. If anything other than missionary position is used, you are NOT having maintenance sex!

Maintenance sex is associated with an increase in UTIs in women (due primarily to the lack of lubrication) and with other relationship problems such as extramarital affairs and divorce. Interestingly extramarital affairs and divorce are also effective cures for maintenance sex.
"So what happened to you and Mr. Right? I thought you guys were a great couple!"
"Couldn't take the maintenance sex so I had to dump him."
by deep fried macaroni February 7, 2010
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Maintenance texting

if you’re texting someone you like to keep them interested in you.
john: yo stacey is totally maintenance texting me lmao
by mel_gracee June 1, 2018
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