Hey! It's matthew!
by Samuel l Jackson April 15, 2017
Matthew is an international man of mystery. The kind of guy you can throw a shoe at and he'd catch it on his foot, even though he's 2 sizes bigger...
What nobody knows about Matthew is that he harbors a deep inner desire to be loved by someone special, something he will never experience due to his busy schedule of rescuing Baby Pandas from bamboo fires and intercepting missiles over war torn countries with a frisbee.
One thing is certain, when a crisis is averted, that handsome man walking off into the horizon alone is a Matthew.
What nobody knows about Matthew is that he harbors a deep inner desire to be loved by someone special, something he will never experience due to his busy schedule of rescuing Baby Pandas from bamboo fires and intercepting missiles over war torn countries with a frisbee.
One thing is certain, when a crisis is averted, that handsome man walking off into the horizon alone is a Matthew.
Guy 1: Thanks for lifting that fallen bus off of my girlfriend!
Matthew: ...
Guy 1: What's you're problem?! I said thanks.
Girl 1: It's ok babe, he a Matthew *quiet sigh*.
Matthew: ...
Guy 1: What's you're problem?! I said thanks.
Girl 1: It's ok babe, he a Matthew *quiet sigh*.
by leechtime February 22, 2012
A boy or man with a very large penis. When people say penis, people will often think of the name Matthew or vice versa. Everybody likes Matthew and anybody who doesn't is usually a slut, an asshole, or a bitch.
by Matt the penis January 26, 2011
Matthew has a above average penis
by Matt on crack 47 April 20, 2023
A tall,handsome and caring guy. If he's your best friend he is loyal, fun, amazing and will turn your frown upside down, if he's your lover...he's all of that and much more :)
*Girl speaking to Matthew in hallway of college*
Person: who was that guy you were just speaking to?
Girl: Oh that's my friend Matthew....*sighs*....but i wish he was more than that <3
Person: who was that guy you were just speaking to?
Girl: Oh that's my friend Matthew....*sighs*....but i wish he was more than that <3
by somebody wished to be loved <3 April 19, 2011
A Matthew is an amazing best friend and big brother. Matthew can be kind of emo sometimes, but is cooler than all the other emo kids. He doesn't think he looks good, but everyone, even straight guys, thinks he's a stud. He loves to play video games and has a really boring security job that should pay him more money. Matthew is obsessed with cookies and hates Fedex because they always eat his cookies and other desserts, such as carrot cake, that his sister tries to mail to him. Matthew is the big brother that all parents want for their daughters. He is protective and rescues his sister from creepers, sex machines, and other horrible men/boyfriends. Matthew has a lot of female friends because he is such a sweet guy and all the girls want him. In fact, so many girls want him that he's single because he can't choose! Yeah. That's how awesome he is. Other guys are jealous of Matthew because their girlfriends secretly want to do him.
by RocketGrunt August 21, 2011
Defined as the religion created from the superior name, by superior beings. To follow the faith of Matthewism, one must pray to the great demi-God; Pastor Matthew, hallowed be thy name. One must also deface a church of Danielism. And only after those spiritual undertakings, will one be allowed into the divine kingdom of Matthewism.
Wow! I just found out that Adam Sandler is a follower of Matthewism! He's my new favorite celebrity! He's the BEST!
by Pastor Matthew November 27, 2021