jerking off a blind guy 

The phrase from the YouTuber and Twitch streamer Teo, no one's exactly sure what it means, but it's used to make a strange situation even stranger.

What the hell is going on, I feel like I'm jerking off a blind guy over here!

jerking off a blind guy by Sigma5213 July 26, 2017

Jerking off with both hands 

An expression for over-doing something, doing more work than is necessary to complete a task, or the general idea of using an ass-backwards method to achieve a relatively simple goal.

Yeah, well he's always jerking off with both hands.

Jerking off with both hands by maxflight June 19, 2010

Jerking off Snailfish 

Sitting/standing around doing nothing, bored out of your mind and looking for something to do,

- did you go out to the bar last night?

-no!!!, i sat around jerking off snailfish all night!, you bob or ken didnt call me!

Jerking off Snailfish by Bam 9 October 18, 2010

jerking off with sandpaper 

something that may look like a good idea at first glance, but turns out to be a horrible one

1) "I thought that chick was gonna be fun, but then I hung out with her and I realized I got tricked into jerking off with sanpdper."

2) "Joe is such a douche... I swear he always calls me to play football and everytime it's your basic jerking off with sandpaper!"

jerking off with sandpaper by Mel Berg January 18, 2009

Jerking Off Steam 

When a man masturbates to deal with stress.

1. Before his interview, Tim jerked off some steam so he wouldn't be nervous.
2. Tim is jerking off steam before his hot date tonight.
3. I have four papers due tomorrow! I really need to jerk off some steam right now.

Jerking Off Steam by F_TRES November 19, 2009

Jerking off Stalefish 

The act of jerking off to your own ass while looking at it in a mirror.

"What the fuck dude you've been in the toliet for 2 hours now"

"Be patient man i'm jerking off stalefish"

Jerking off Stalefish by CollaBear June 12, 2012

jerking off stalefish 

The act of masterbation with your coming from behind and going under your leg like the snowboarding move.

I needed a little change in my love life so i put my hand under my leg and started jerking off stalefish.

jerking off stalefish by Jim-Bo May 31, 2007