A Christian religion often called a cult. They are well known for their frequent missionary visits, wherein they knock on your door, armed with pamphlets and magazines. They should not be confused with Mormon missionaries; a distinct difference is that Jehovah's Witnesses will try to tell you that your religion is wrong using their analytical facts.
JW Missionary: So what religion do you belong to?
Me: I'm a Mormon.
JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible!
Me: How so?
JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now...
Me: I'm a Mormon.
JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible!
Me: How so?
JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now...
by Deoxyribose July 16, 2005
If you are in the same room with one you will definately know it! He'll be yelling and screaming, arguing with the Christian who simply wants to take a piss without being tapped on the shoulder and being told that he needs God!
Jehovahs Witness: "You need God!"
Christian: "I need to take a piss and the only things that'll help me with that is my penis and if you will SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Christian: "I need to take a piss and the only things that'll help me with that is my penis and if you will SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
by fuck_me_all_night May 12, 2005
A Christian denomination... have very very very diffrent beliefs then the other denominations have. They are their chruches which are usually called a Kingdom Hall. They tend to knock on doors to get you to join them. You can do either one of three things.
1) Don't answer the door, they'll leave after a minute or leave some of their propaganda litertuare, either that or keep pestering.
2) Answer the door naked or screwing your wife... they'll get freaked out and run away. Or flip the bird.. or aim a shotgun at them. Or sic your dog on them.
3) Let them in and listen to their FUCKING ENDLESS RANT OF DOOM!
1) Don't answer the door, they'll leave after a minute or leave some of their propaganda litertuare, either that or keep pestering.
2) Answer the door naked or screwing your wife... they'll get freaked out and run away. Or flip the bird.. or aim a shotgun at them. Or sic your dog on them.
3) Let them in and listen to their FUCKING ENDLESS RANT OF DOOM!
by AutisticPsycho November 15, 2004
People who bang on your door at 6:30 in the morning to pass out various religious pamphlets/magazines in an attempt to recruit you into their "religion."
They are like missionaries without the nerdy bicycles, but slightly more irritating.
Don't take their magazines or pamphlets unless you desperately need something to line your birdcage with.
They are like missionaries without the nerdy bicycles, but slightly more irritating.
Don't take their magazines or pamphlets unless you desperately need something to line your birdcage with.
Jehovah's Witnesses> Would you like a copy of the Watchtower??
by SDFojfdo October 27, 2003
Annoying cult members whose sole purpose is to annoy people by knocking on their doors every week and asking them if they wish to be "saved". Any unfortunate victim who ACTUALLY allows them into their house will be bored to death by their endless rantings about their cult, and their hour-long prayers.
I feel proud that I no longer have to worry about Jehova's Witnesses bothering me ever since I set my dogs on two of their members last year.
by AYB June 13, 2003
The simple definition is as the name says Jehovah's Witnesses, or witnesses of Jehovah. In the texts of scriptures and writings from Moses to John, the word YHWH appears over 6700 times. No matter what language you use, whether you translate or transliterate, YHWH's name means "He who causes to become" and it directly points to His real name, which is the same in all languages.
Jehovah"He who causes to become", has caused to become the earth, all life on earth and even a way for all our sins to be washed away through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.
All this and what do we as humans need to do? Practice the teachings set out for us in the Bible! All countries worldwide today have laws regarding murder, rape, theft and wrong WORLDWIDE as a humans we believe these things are. If humans are "created in God's image" would we not also have the same ideas genetically coded into us? We , as humans, also know that the current world society has declined since ancient times. We have not rooted out hunger. We have not prevented wars. We have not eliminated disease.
Jehovah"He who causes to become", has caused to become the earth, all life on earth and even a way for all our sins to be washed away through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.
All this and what do we as humans need to do? Practice the teachings set out for us in the Bible! All countries worldwide today have laws regarding murder, rape, theft and wrong WORLDWIDE as a humans we believe these things are. If humans are "created in God's image" would we not also have the same ideas genetically coded into us? We , as humans, also know that the current world society has declined since ancient times. We have not rooted out hunger. We have not prevented wars. We have not eliminated disease.
As humans, we strive to do our own thing, find our own way.
Is it possible for a race, who were caused to become, to find their own way?
Our history speaks volumes!
Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door because they believe in their hearts and minds that humanity can be saved because Jehovah wants all his children, who he "caused to become", to live and not to die through ignorance and pride.
Wouldn't you yell at the top of your lungs if you knew that your friends and family were about to be engulfed in a horrific and terrible natural disaster?
The person at the door replies"...... insert answer here..."
Is it possible for a race, who were caused to become, to find their own way?
Our history speaks volumes!
Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door because they believe in their hearts and minds that humanity can be saved because Jehovah wants all his children, who he "caused to become", to live and not to die through ignorance and pride.
Wouldn't you yell at the top of your lungs if you knew that your friends and family were about to be engulfed in a horrific and terrible natural disaster?
The person at the door replies"...... insert answer here..."
by shaemas June 23, 2006
1) People who reject the world and refuse to just get along with everyone else
2) CPS's worst nightmare
3) The biggest media nazis in the world
4) One reason not to own a home
2) CPS's worst nightmare
3) The biggest media nazis in the world
4) One reason not to own a home
1) Zeke: Oh wassap! Ay man, u wanna come to mah house dis weekend? We gonna go help rebuild the mosque downtown.
Victor: GUH!! HOW DARE YOU HELP OTHER RELIGIONS!
2) Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Caller: Um yes hello?! I found this kid all beaten and bruised and and theres something taped to his back that says "you have been banished by the elders"
Operator: Probably another Jehovah's Witnesses, we will be over there right away.
3) Trey: Hey dude, you seen Devon anywhere?
Josh: I hear he got his eyes gouged out by his parents for watching Spongebob Squarepants
4) Nate: daddy there's a man with a bunch of little books outside
Chris: Shit. Nate, get the shotgun.
Victor: GUH!! HOW DARE YOU HELP OTHER RELIGIONS!
2) Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Caller: Um yes hello?! I found this kid all beaten and bruised and and theres something taped to his back that says "you have been banished by the elders"
Operator: Probably another Jehovah's Witnesses, we will be over there right away.
3) Trey: Hey dude, you seen Devon anywhere?
Josh: I hear he got his eyes gouged out by his parents for watching Spongebob Squarepants
4) Nate: daddy there's a man with a bunch of little books outside
Chris: Shit. Nate, get the shotgun.
by Dr. Snicklefritz :D February 21, 2011