Hazeltoned

Giving birth to a child without any knowledge of the pregnancy, as is common in small, rural towns, such as Hazelton, B.C.

Dude, you know that stomach pain I had? I just got back from the hospital and was hazeltoned.

Who's the father?

by Stellarwhirlpool July 24, 2012

Hazleton

Basically Chicago jr. Full of Hispanics (mostly Dominicans). Worst city in Pennsylvania. You can hear a couple gunshots every now and then but its normal here. Literally here besides Mi Casa Restaurant. Pretty sure the bloods and crips both originated from here.

"Hey, let's never come back to Hazleton, like, ever again."

by Sum fuckin hic June 14, 2018

Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis

When a pimp seriously injures or kills his ho, thus losing money by not being able to pimp her out.

detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.

detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.

detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 8, 2010

bloody hazleton

A form of mutual masturbation, in which heavily menstruating woman hangs upside-down while her male partner masturbates her. He catches any falling menstrual blood with his penis, which his partner uses as lubricant to masturbate him.

"Nothing makes my nuts bust, quite like a bloody hazleton."

--Jack Palance

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

hazelos

A new and cereal that makes you high if you eat it.

"Man, those HAZELOS were the shit!"

"My favorite cereal is KUSH GLAZED HAZELOS!"

by DOOBER-HEAD September 10, 2005

Hazleton Switcheroo

Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.

THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993

Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?

Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.

Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.

Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?

Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!

by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011

Hamiltons

A subtle derogatory term for Pakistanis. Derived from the Scottish football team Hamilton Academicals, usually known as "The Accies". It rhymes with Pakis, hence Hamiltons.

"Agnes have you seen who has moved in next door?"
"Oh yes! Bloody Hamiltons"
"O well, there goes the neighbourhood!!"
(nods to Monty Python there folks)

by ioxothoth September 15, 2007