Retard handler

Individual tasked with maintaining control of a single tard while outside the confines of the retard school. Their duties mostly revolve around keeping the tard from going full retard and unleashing their retard strength on the public. Usually the number of handlers to the tard is an excellent indicator of a retard's strength. A one to one ratio would indicate a low strength retard whereas two handlers to one tard indicates a super strength retard.

The Secret Service is made up of the nation's most elite and well trained retard handlers.

by Carlos SpicyWeiner September 9, 2013

Poon Handler

Neil Patrick Harris or one who handles the poon.

Duncan: Man, Blonathan will never get laid.

Kev: Are you kidding?! Blonathan is a fucking poon handler man!

by aquamongoose December 2, 2009

Poon Handler

The act of obtaining or the control of large amounts of

women's vaginas.

To be the master of or dominate poon.

To pull a deliberate fair and back door sally a court day party to chase girls.

Jason slapped his old lady so he could leave his own party to find me a girl. Because he was the poon handler.

Fair acted drunk just to go poon handle at the bars.

Who needs a wife when you are the poon handler?

by court day December 9, 2010

the love handler

A couples dance move recently made notorious in night clubs in which the man grinds up against the woman from behind all the while clutching her love handles tightly for balance.

I was dancing with this beautiful, chunky woman last night, so I busted out the love handler, and it was all smooth sailing from there.

by SirBlondie December 23, 2008

turd handler

for lack of better words, one who is a complete fucking douche bag.

"Jared ate the last piece of pizza." "That guy is a fucking turd handler."

by rob metzgar January 14, 2009

professional meat handler

A gal who sleeps around and handles lots of man sausage.

Dude! Maggies such a professional meat handler I bet fucking her is like throwing a hot dog down a hall way.

Dude! That bitch is such a professional meat handler I bet she's got the gag reflex of a blow up doll.

Dude! Dude she's such a professional meat handler I bet she's handled more sausage than Jimmy Dean!

by Attica1979 October 7, 2007

Tard Handler

one who watches over tards to make sure they don't fuck themselves in the head with other tard's penis'.

if it hadn't have been for that tard handler, i would have never spent that year in college.

by YAAAYYY!!!! July 19, 2004