Glonk

When someone or something is absolutely fucking useless/does nothing and dies.

Keith: I feel like a glonk. I do nothing besides rot in my fuckin bed.

Peter: Dw ur more meaningful than my ranked teammates. They’re so retarted!

by fillthevoid_001 February 4, 2025

Glonk

Calling someone “Glonk” is usually a lighthearted jab, suggesting the person:

Did something awkward, clumsy, or unexpectedly silly

Was moving or behaving in a way that’s a bit offbeat, like tripping, dropping something, or saying something random or confusing

It’s like being called a goofball, just with a weirder word.

My friend buddy Jake lost us the game so I called him ‘glonk’

Or

Richard is such a ‘glonk’ because knocked over his water bottle

Beaudry just fell with no serious injuries, that was such a ‘glonk’ move

by Jake Beaudry 69 June 30, 2025

Glonked

A situational problem that is clearly needed to solve the problem.

Man, I broke the guitar that you gave me. I'm clearly glonked.

by AMysteriousMan2001 August 1, 2025

Glonked

a situation where you need to think of a plan/solution.

I accidentally hit the guitar, i broke it. I'm clearly glonked.

by AMysteriousMan2001 August 1, 2025

Glonk The Wizz

A term used to describe smoking the drug marijuana, usually accompanied by friends.

Friend 1: Hey dude, wanna go glonk the wizz?
Friend 2: Hell yeah, let's go get high!

by QUEERHOMOMAN December 4, 2024

Glonked

When you are very stupid

"You are so glonked my guy!"

by bagel117 November 23, 2022

Glonk

A word that can be used to describe anything, and the meaning changes to the user's will, depending on tone, emotion and to whom it is said

That's so glonking annoying!
Stop that or I will glonk you.

by jarquavius the third September 19, 2025