Anal Glaucoma

When your ass can't differentiate what it likes to wink at. Like not realizing they are doing it to someone from the same sex.

A guy tells another guy "Hey that's a nice shirt" and then proceed to wink at him with his anal glaucoma.

by Penelope Pimp June 25, 2010

Guatemalan Glaucoma Check

When pent up gases in the female vaginal pipe shoot out into a person's eye while either in 69 or straight eating the curly curtains. Often resulting in pink eye.

Kyle: Danny, what happened to your eye?

Danny: I got a Guatemalan Glaucoma check last night

Kyle: Was it that spicy?

by supermeathead December 7, 2011

Pre-Glaucoma Treatment

The Politically correct way of saying Marijuana. Especially useful around younger people who don't know what the h Glaucoma is.

Also a good subject to mention to your optometrist! He'll love it!!!

guy #1 What the hell are you doing dude - we are going on a job interview. Don't light that joint in my car.

guy #2 Dude,I have to smoke my Pre-Glaucoma TreatmentEVERY day or I may go blind!

by Hippie Chick 1972 December 25, 2008

Anal glaucoma

When you just can't see your ass doing something.

"Tresa called in sick today, she says her anal glaucoma is acting up."

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"She just cant see her ass coming in to work!"

by Sweet blumpkin pie November 11, 2009

Anal Glaucoma

An excellent excuse to try to not go to work.

Lazy fucking idiot: Sorry Boss, I can't come into work, I'm not feeling well.
Boss: What's the matter?
Lazy fucking idiot: I have Anal Glaucoma.
Boss: What the fuck is Anal Glaucoma?
Lazy fucking idiot: I just can't see my ass coming into work today.

by PhoenixGamer34 May 31, 2023

gluteal glaucoma

A bullshit excuse for not coming in to work. or to cancel plans. "Gluteal" literally means ass, and although "glaucoma" is technically an eye disease, another definition of the word can also be: "a poor excuse". So this phrase basically translates to "my ass ain't coming to work and I don't have a good excuse".

John: "hey boss, I'm not coming to work today".

Boss: "wtf John? Why not?"

John: "I have Gluteal Glaucoma".

by dillonstrider413 March 11, 2024

Anal Glaucoma

Anal Glaucoma is when a person can not see their ass doing a certain task.

Housecat "I can't make it to work this morning, I have anal glaucoma something fierce."

Boss " Never heard of such."

Housecat "I just can't see my ass coming to work today."

Boss "I've heard em all now.!!!"

The master sergeant hoped that the Lance Corporal has a good excuse for missing formation.

Anal Glaucoma devil dog, very well marine very well, as you were.

by Woodhippie September 22, 2022