Driftwood

When a penis is only halfway erect

i expected morning wood, but when i awoke i was mildly amused that i only had driftwood.

by nikolijubalee July 2, 2011

Driftwood

The guy, or guys, that you meet and have sex with while you're at the beach. They, and their "wood", drift in and out of your life for the day/night, the week, the summer - however long you're in a beach environment.

Hey Cutie K, let's to the beach next week and pick up some shells and driftwood.

by DebDanger July 25, 2017

The Driftwood Effect

When a man starts spending less time with the bros: this is generally caused by his hope of "getting some" with his new girlfriend.

Mark: "Hey man, have you seen John lately since he started dating that new chick?"
Paul: "No i haven't... i think he may have become a victim of The Driftwood Effect."

by Sparkles the Tri-corn May 26, 2012

Driftwood Game

Making women fall in love with you by taking romantic photos of driftwood on the beach. Because all women find driftwood aesthetically pleasing.

Giga Chad: Why do all the chicks like that artsy guy and not my stupid muscles.

Chris: Dude it’s 2024. Put down the weights and get a mirrorless camera. You need some Driftwood Game.

by Starwheel July 16, 2024

reptile driftwood

When a member of the reptile species gets a boner in the water and tries to play it cool by laying in a plank-like fashion.

(Note: never insult a Southern Floridian Alligator with drift wood... you'll poke your eye out.)

Jason: I went down to the beach and saw the Geico Gecko doing the backstroke and he looked more like a shark!
Hal: Mad driftwood?
Jason: Reptile driftwood fo' sho'!

by thebee'sknees June 19, 2012

beached driftwood

When a man gets an erection while defecating and his head touches the inside of the toilet bowl on the dry part.

I just had a huge dump, but I got some beached driftwood during it so im gonna go take a shower.

by Sum dude 42069 July 27, 2021