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Ricer Diagnostics

righ-sir-die-ag-nos-ticks

1) A person who clearly has no idea about how car engines work, but will add up all the engine modifications he has/plans to get with preconcieved horsepower figures to show how fast his car is.

2)A person who looks like hes working on his engine, but he's really just making sure his intake didn't fall off yet and he has no idea what he is doing or what is wrong with his car.
1) (man performing ricer diagnostics) "yea, well the car has 120 hp stock, but i got a intake, muffler, and performance tuner, so its got like 160 hp now, cuz the intakes 15 hp, the mufflers 15 hp, and the chips 10.

2) yea man, theres smoke coming outta the transfuxfibulator there, i just gotta retune my muffler bearings and it should be even faster than before.
by unclepeanuts May 17, 2011
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run some diagnostics on the commode

Tikh: Hey where ya headed to so fast?
Dylan: I just had my morning coffee, and now I gotta run some diagnostics on the commode!
by Lil' Enyaw December 11, 2016
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diagnosiphilia

The obsession with needing a diagnosis for any problem that occurs in one’s life. Often results in a self-diagnosis.
“Mom, my foot’s been aching after my 5k walk, I think I need to get it checked out.”
“You just went to the doctor’s last week for a sore throat, maybe this time he’ll say it’s diagnosiphilia.”
by shaxingg January 6, 2021
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soft diagnosis

A sensible diagnosis that has not yet been confirmed through comprehensive testing.
My cat has a soft diagnosis of cancer but I can’t afford all the tests to see for sure.
by bashasrus666 June 6, 2018
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diagnosis whore

Someone who collects mental diagnoses to gain sympathy.
Sarah: Melissa says she has bipolar disorder, dissociative disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder.

Heather: Melissa is such a diagnosis whore!
by JasmineSarahHeather December 30, 2008
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Internet Diagnosing

The act of searching medical websites to match real or imagined symptoms in oneself or ones friends and family. This automatically makes the searcher a medical expert and this person is usually known for their hypochondriac tendencies and uncanny abilities to drive you nuts.
Woman A: (cough) "I'm not feeling so hot."

Woman B: "Do you have shortness of breath and a fever?"

Woman A: "Mayyyybe.... I feel a little warm..."

Woman B: "Let me do some internet diagnosing on WebMD....Oh my god!! You have Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis! We've gotta get you to the emergency room!"
by mel268 July 7, 2010
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diagnostic

Thomas: I'm agnostic!
Anya: I'm agnostic, too!
Thomas: That makes us a diagnostic!

Person 1: I know these Siamese twins who think the existence of God is unknowable.

Person 2: Ah, yes, another case of diagnosticism.
by Thanya October 20, 2012
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