1. An adjective describing a person with sarcastic, witty, quirky, pessimistic who rejects all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, advocating the pursuit of virtue in a simple and unmaterialistic lifestyle.

2. An individual in Urban Dictionary who likes to stir the turd and add sarcastic, funny, and/or assholey defenitions.
You are so cynical, you make me throw up large, giant, man eating larvae.
by The Amazing Asshole January 27, 2009
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The adjective for an individual who attributes all actions to selfish motives. Becoming cynical comes from someone just not giving a damn about the rest of the human race and is recommended for all Americans.
Person : "So yeah, this emo kid posted this myspace bullitin where he said he would kill himself."
Cynic: "That's great, hope he actually did it."
Person: "WTF? You cynical jerk! You should be ashamed for saying things like that!"
Cynic: "At least, I can stand on my own two feet..."
by Darkest_Elite May 22, 2006
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The only way to be.

Look at how fuckin shitty everyone and everything is.

HOW could anyone NOT be cynical?
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A person that has seen the truth of the world. This person knows that everyone is a jerk on the inside and sticks with this belief. Said person has a tendency to have more common sense so that others cannot backstab him/her. It is helpful to be cynical when you realize just how terrible some people are. Now there's less of a surprise. It is also helpful since you will not be fooled by a person's "kindness". Be a cynic!
Person A: I know we've been "friends" for a long time, but I don't care what happens to you.

Person B: I was a cynic all along, anyway. I knew you didn't care.
by Mokona Zero April 29, 2013
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a person who has grown enough to see that some things in life aren't wonderful and sometimes people are selfish or disappointing, but has failed to find the humor and irony in this or realistically observe the many good things that also happen in life. oftentimes cynics seem to enjoy attempting to destroy the faith and joy found by other people--even when that faith serves no purpose than to make its owner balanced and happy as a human being.
Amanda said she believes she can accomplish great things in her life if she believes in herself, and Rob being a cynic felt it was his duty to crush this belief which hurt no one and only helped Amanda, thereby making Amanda sad. Rob needs to get a life.
by itstruewhatcanisay July 6, 2009
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A name assholes give themselves to add a cover of philosophy to their bullshit.
I am not an ordinary asshole, I am a cynic and therefore a philosopher.
by yorkie stomper July 11, 2008
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Someone smart enough to realize that life isn't perfect but too stupid to realize that it's still pretty fucking sweet.
Cynic:
That douche that no one invites to parties because he thinks he has an elevated sense of awareness and a mysterious, dark sexiness that all women must find desirable.
by Mike_Jennison December 26, 2009
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