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Cynical

1. An adjective describing a person with sarcastic, witty, quirky, pessimistic who rejects all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, advocating the pursuit of virtue in a simple and unmaterialistic lifestyle.

2. An individual in Urban Dictionary who likes to stir the turd and add sarcastic, funny, and/or assholey defenitions.
You are so cynical, you make me throw up large, giant, man eating larvae.
by The Amazing Asshole January 26, 2009
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cynical

The adjective for an individual who attributes all actions to selfish motives. Becoming cynical comes from someone just not giving a damn about the rest of the human race and is recommended for all Americans.
Person : "So yeah, this emo kid posted this myspace bullitin where he said he would kill himself."
Cynic: "That's great, hope he actually did it."
Person: "WTF? You cynical jerk! You should be ashamed for saying things like that!"
Cynic: "At least, I can stand on my own two feet..."
by Darkest_Elite May 28, 2006
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cynical

The only way to be.

Look at how fuckin shitty everyone and everything is.

HOW could anyone NOT be cynical?
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cynical grave

cynical grave is the best crip walker on earth, he crip walks in red shoes yeahyeah audio maker cool
by CG360 April 4, 2021
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Cynical Sam

The act of shoving a bottle rocket in your pee hole, and inserting it into a girl's vagina.
I just gave Scott a Cynical Sam.
by Princess TRiZ December 11, 2011
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cynical wankers

You seem like one yourself by complaining about it and acting like you aren't cynical. Now that's cynical.
by master bates IV September 6, 2003
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Cynical Matt

Cynical Matts are people whom generally have a deeply cynical and depressing outlook on life whilst expressing this in a way that is funny and cheers up companions and themselves. As a result of this, Cynical Matts tend to be very witty and intelligent as well as a champion at 'that's what she said'.
Person one: Arghn that test felt so long and hard!
Person Two: That's what she said!
Person One: you are such a Cynical Matt
by Katietron April 8, 2010
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