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cooked spaghetti

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The act of comparing the stiffness, or status of your labido to cooked spaghetti which is limp and lifeless.
Jim was not into Megan, he was cooked spaghetti.
by Danmaj April 21, 2014
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Cooked salami

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When you’re finished, tired or about to die in real life or a video game.
I finished all of my tasks at work. I’m cooked salami.

Hurry up and revive me before I’m cooked salami.
by BaconMacon April 8, 2024
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Slow-Cooked Stupid

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A poorly made decision with slight short term advantage and increasingly worse downstream consequences.
Her decision to skip college and use the money to buy a Camero was slow-cooked stupid.
by Al Ham November 21, 2011
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im cooked syndrome

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when you try studying for an exam but you know you're cooked, so you end up sitting there just looking at your book without even doing any studying (you have sat there for the last 8 hours straight and done no actual work)

(its over for you)
did you study for the finals tomorrow?
i tried but got the im cooked syndrome
damn bro you're cooked
by protein bor May 26, 2024
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Cooked-Her-Steak

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- I went to my girlfriends house and Cooked-Her-Steak
- I stuck my meat in my wife's oven and Cooked-Her-Steak
by AK47488 July 26, 2012
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Cooked your own spleen

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"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"
by theclassgeek November 9, 2012
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