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Jesus

What if Jesus was a fat guy with curly/bushy and dark hair, but nobody knows it because they always see a skinny guy with fair hair that looks like a Northern European in a stained glass window at a church? What if the church wanted the image that would draw in the most money, instead of the true image, isn't that a possibility?
Nobody was alive back when Jesus was, so he might have been a fat guy with curly/bushy hair that looks nothing like what people usually see at church.
by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021
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Jesus jazz

Christian rock performed in a megachurch (often by dudes whose 80's hair bands didn't make it big).
She's all into Jesus jazz and bible study.
by whittlesshittlestendervittles December 30, 2012
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Jesus cable

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.
Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.
by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023
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Jesus

"Jesus is in the new Matrix movie"
by PotRoastLover21 December 19, 2021
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Jesus

He's dumb as fuck. Nothing else and tends to be a piece of shit that lies to his friends, even the ones closest to him.
Jesus is shit.
by YeetMaster5960 October 2, 2020
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Jesus Alvarez

a cute boy , usually Hispanic popular' you are not worth his time unless your nice or you earn it he seems mean but is really sweet and kind he is competitive good hair athletic usually plays a sport like football or wrestling is awesome with babies and loves them short dosent weigh much but still super cute he has a bit of a bubble butt usually kinda dumb cause he can't realize the perfect girl is right in front of him
Girl A: Man you are so lucky to be dating Jesus Alvarez

Girl B: ikr he is so sweet but it took some time for him to like me but he is amazing
by hiramlodge June 10, 2018
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