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Jesus Bumper

someone who presses their religion on you, especially catholicism. They make reference to their religion and justify everything behind their religion in a conversation.
ex:
man: This woman came to to my house today to try and convert me, bro.

Friend: Bitch was a Jesus Bumper, yo.
by cutup3 July 21, 2014
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The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.

A way of saying "You know I'm right" when someone gets angry at you for speaking the truth. According to scripture, the Pharisees were a group of Jewish elders in Judea (the name of Israel under Roman occupation) who took every chance they could get to catch Jesus and his disciples lacking.
Virgin Woke Urbanist: Amtrak is bad! travel cross-country by air! Or on a Greyhound bus!

Chad Nerd: Actually, there's nothing wrong with Amtrak, and aside from Greyhound, they were picking up the slack during the recent airline meltdowns.

VWU: NO! SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

CN: The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.
by Stupidly Sophisticated January 15, 2023
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jesus fooq

Can’t say Fuck in school so we say Jesus fooq
Jesus fooqing Christ!
by Shortcock November 27, 2018
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Jesus

He's dumb as fuck. Nothing else and tends to be a piece of shit that lies to his friends, even the ones closest to him.
Jesus is shit.
by YeetMaster5960 October 2, 2020
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Jesus

What if Jesus was a fat guy with curly/bushy and dark hair, but nobody knows it because they always see a skinny guy with fair hair that looks like a Northern European in a stained glass window at a church? What if the church wanted the image that would draw in the most money, instead of the true image, isn't that a possibility?
Nobody was alive back when Jesus was, so he might have been a fat guy with curly/bushy hair that looks nothing like what people usually see at church.
by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021
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Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.
"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023
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