Jesus

Jesus: A misspelling of; Ye Zeus.

How do you think Plato voted?
Ye Zeus.
Oh Jesus! Better call Sparta.

by Goatacolypse September 28, 2024

chunky jesus

If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus

Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants

Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch

Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right

by Yummy nut February 20, 2019

Jesus

Jesus is the kind of guy that would buy a Krispy Kreme, and dip it in ranch dressing just because.

Jesus will be like, "Ayo, gimme sum of that ranch dressing. Imma dip this finger-licking dope ass Krispy Kreme in it, likah boneless wing"

by Mr. Bonewide June 14, 2021

Oh lord jesus

When someone does something dumb out of no where.
When someone looks dumb.
When something happens unexpectedly.

Jocelyn: "hey, did you see ally's makeup today?"
Arlette: "no why?"
*arlette sees ally's horrifying make up*

Arlette: "oh lord Jesus"

by issasneak August 10, 2017

Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a

“hey Jesus Hernandez C ur annoying”

by urfavhater November 22, 2021

Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.

"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023

Jesus Syndrome

When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.

Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.

by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024