Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.

Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.

by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021

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Jesus christ

Our lord that will protect us from the homos.

-Look it's jesus christ

-amen

by 1337eliteprokillstreak February 7, 2018

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Bong Hits For Jesus

Bong Hits for Jesus is an American rock band. Taking its eye-brow raising name from a landmark Supreme Court free speech case, Bong Hits For Jesus is all about peoples' First Amendment rights, artistic freedom and expression, legalization, and having an all around good time.

Did you see Bong Hits For Jesus open for Cypress Hill? They were smoking!

by Kung Ku Lou December 6, 2020

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fish jesus

idk my mom yelled at me for saying it so i figured it was on here.

I swear to fish jesus!

by totally not an 11 year old May 16, 2015

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Jesus Christ

A man who loved you so much that he died for you. The man you were designed to love from the beginning. He is your missing piece and the only thing that can make you feel whole again! He created an entire universe to show you how special you truly are, and even allowed you to follow him into heaven despite how horrible all of man kind treats him. Constantly using his name in vein, cursing people out, murdering without reason, lying(includes not telling the whole truth), stealing, and many more things that we don't even know are wrong. But that's why Jesus died! So that we can accept the gift he offers us (eternity with him) so that we can feel his awesome love! You may think I'm wrong and want to disprove me, and you might think you have though you haven't! Because his existence is a proven fact along with his resurrection, his love, and us being his creation.

You may have questions like "well why hasn't he came to earth"
He did and we killed him.
Or maybe you're wondering "then who created God?"
You think something without a beginning needs a beginning, but scientists say that the universe didn't begin at a point in time either. It just "was". God just "was" as well. Except he wasn't suddenly just "was" he was always "was". Believing the universe came from a spec of nothing is probably worse than believing in the existence of God when you look at everything these scientists really say.

Person: Jesus Christ died for you!

by #Faithinhim February 26, 2024

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