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fish jesus

idk my mom yelled at me for saying it so i figured it was on here.
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Jesus Christ

A man who loved you so much that he died for you. The man you were designed to love from the beginning. He is your missing piece and the only thing that can make you feel whole again! He created an entire universe to show you how special you truly are, and even allowed you to follow him into heaven despite how horrible all of man kind treats him. Constantly using his name in vein, cursing people out, murdering without reason, lying(includes not telling the whole truth), stealing, and many more things that we don't even know are wrong. But that's why Jesus died! So that we can accept the gift he offers us (eternity with him) so that we can feel his awesome love! You may think I'm wrong and want to disprove me, and you might think you have though you haven't! Because his existence is a proven fact along with his resurrection, his love, and us being his creation.

You may have questions like "well why hasn't he came to earth"
He did and we killed him.
Or maybe you're wondering "then who created God?"
You think something without a beginning needs a beginning, but scientists say that the universe didn't begin at a point in time either. It just "was". God just "was" as well. Except he wasn't suddenly just "was" he was always "was". Believing the universe came from a spec of nothing is probably worse than believing in the existence of God when you look at everything these scientists really say.
Person: Jesus Christ died for you!
by #Faithinhim February 26, 2024
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Monkey Jesus

Mooooooooonnnnnkaaaaaay jeeeeeesssssuuuuuusssss!! 🎶

“Jesus monkey Christ on a stick!” — When frightened

We made a song but forgot…
Monkey Jesus is used In English when your bored
by Clarius and Darius December 10, 2023
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Jesus

Jesus is the kind of guy that would buy a Krispy Kreme, and dip it in ranch dressing just because.
Jesus will be like, "Ayo, gimme sum of that ranch dressing. Imma dip this finger-licking dope ass Krispy Kreme in it, likah boneless wing"
by Mr. Bonewide June 14, 2021
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chunky jesus

If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus

Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants
Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch

Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right
by Yummy nut February 20, 2019
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jesus stick

Hey Bobbie, can I see your Jesus stick for a sec?
by cattle graze April 6, 2019
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Are You Preparing to meet Jesus?

A slang word for "are you ready to die?"
Johnny was walking slightly faster at the pool and the lifeguard said "Are you preparing to meet Jesus?"
by 69trainboi August 2, 2020
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