Jesus Christ

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords (The God who Created Mankind)
The Lord Jesus Christ is the King Of Kings And Lord of Lords.
by TimmyTastic March 24, 2024
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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 09, 2023
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Jesus Christ!

Hym “JESUS CHRIST! ‘Jews can work for me as long as I can spy on them and put cameras in their house and follow everything they do’!? He went full Dr. JeepJorp! That’s what the living god Dr. Jordan PeeperJorp thinks! WOOOOOW! Wow! That’s crazy man! And ‘if you don’t believe in Jesus you shouldn’t have any power.’ Holy shit, we are in full Christian theocracy mode. Ha! Hilarious! That is wild. This is wild.”
by Hym Iam December 07, 2022
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Jesus Bomb

A Bomb the Lord would Love ... Redbull and Red Wine of your choice 🍷🙏 Get your wings and get right with Christ... Cheers
Mike you want a cherrybomb?! Nah bro lets do a Jesus Bomb !!
by B k i z z l e January 15, 2022
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Jesus Bomb

Dropping a Eucharist into wine and downing the whole thing.
Jesus died so that we could take Jesus bombs.
by Pizza_king_jc July 31, 2021
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Kung Fu Jesus

Kung Fu Jesus- Christmas from someone that doesn't celebrate. Modern form of xmas which was used by Jewish people that would not verbally proclaim Jesus as the Christ.
Happy Kung Fu Jesus to all my Christian friends.
by MillionDollarLester December 25, 2018
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Mexican Jesus

A hot mexican guy with long hair who moast likely gets called that by his close friends (his real name is probably david or antonio)
Friend: Hello Mexican Jesus

David: rly lol
by mr.miguel dannyboy March 03, 2022
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